The Dangers of Not Fratting Hard

There are certain phrases in the English language that, by their very nature, should be heeded with extreme consistency on every occasion in which they are uttered. Such phrases include, “Help me, I have accidentally set my underwear ablaze,” “Get the gun, there is a mountain lion in my bedroom,” and “That looks really infected.” Thankfully, the aforementioned phrases retain their potency because we rarely, if ever, hear them unless the situation they describe is currently occurring. Unfortunately, some other phrases are no less worthy of attention, but their propensity to be casually used in every day conversation tends to deny them the respect they deserve in every instance.

One example of such a phrase is, “Frat hard or go home.” On many occasions, everyone in the room will be fratting as hard as their frat gland will allow (in such situations, the frat gland is producing the maximum amount of fratdrenaline that the body can handle; no spoken phrase can serve to force one to frat harder than one is already fratting), and yet this phrase is needlessly interjected into the conversation. The danger of this is, of course, that the phrase will not be observed when its true power is needed.

“Frat hard or go home,” is not a phrase meant to scorn. It is a phrase meant to, literally, save lives. We have all seen evenings that escalate to the point where fratdrenaline can almost be viewed in the air, and such situations create an environment that is plagued with danger for those not fratting as hard as they could physically endure. Just as driving 35 MPH on the interstate causes a hazard to both the driver and those around them, uninspired and inadequate fratting can lead to disaster when one meets the tidal wave of frat that is crashing into the room. Therefore, “Frat hard or go home,” serves to inform all present that the fratoscity of the room has reached critical levels, and those not fratting hard may be swept up and destroyed due soley to their lack of fratitude.

I am wholly unable, and my vocabulary is insufficient, to describe the horror that can occur from inadequate fratting in a frat rich environment. I feel that only a graphical display of the mayhem that light fratting creates can successfully impart the severity of my warnings. With this in mind, I submit to each of you the following link. In this woeful situation, the young victim is not only not fratting hard, but he is rather engaged in activity sure to drain even the most greedy savings account at the First International Frat Bank. I warn you, this is not pretty; however, it is of the utmost importance that each of you view the video. It might just save your life.

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1657942/

Do not make this young man’s mistake. Remember the acronym FRAT:

Figure out how fratty the situation you are party to is
Respect the power of the fratitude you observe
Apply your frat knowledge to raise your fratitude to an acceptable level
Tap your frat reserve account if you feel that additional emergency fratitude is necessary.
I implore each of you, frat hard or go home.