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Chevrolet Silverado z71 Truck

We decided to go with the z71 in this spot, but to be honest the real selection here is the more general category of any full sized pickup truck, and F-150 could just as easily be pictured in this spot.

The full sized truck bears several advantages for its fratdaddy owner.  First of all, be honest, ladies…you love the truck.  You will find that many sorostitutes, especially those from south of the Mason-Dixon Line, have an almost innate attraction to a vehicle that has an actual component called “the bed.”  Coincidence?  We think not.  Pull up to her sorority house beside the GDI in his Corolla who is there to pick up his Plan C Triple Legacy Had-to-Take-Her-Because-Nationals-Told-Us-To girlfriend, and the projection is clear.  You are showing masculinity and confidence…he is showing a douchesque worry about fuel mileage.

This brings us to another point:  fuel economy.  As we mentioned with the Ford Bronco, these trucks drink gas like you drink Fratty Lite while pregaming on Thursday night.  Be sure to rev your engine at redlights whenever you pull up next to a hybrid…someone has to make up for the gas he is saving.

What dropped the full sized truck down to #4 on the list?  Unfortunately, this venerable vehicle has been hijacked…literally…by a number of trying too hard douchebags.  By “hijacked”, I mean they jack the car high in the air, put on monster truck tires and, Frat Gods forbid, fill the back windshields up with stickers that they perceive to be fratty (if you’re wearing Costas, we see they’re Costas…take at least 6 of the 17 Costas stickers on your car off).  If you actually take your truck off-road, a respectable off-road package is fine.  If you break out in a cold sweat if you accidentally hit gravel, don’t make your truck look like this:

As we always say, though, when GDI’s try to usurp fratty territory, we don’t give an inch.  Keep your truck smaller than Gravedigger, and consider taking your z71 and your sorostitute of choice on a “camping trip”…tent not required.

Popularity: 36% [?]

Back in the summertime, before abusing our livers throughout fourteen weeks of college football, we ran a website poll to determine what the next Institute of Fratology fratty countdown should be.  Fratty vehicles emerged as the victor, rising above such stiff competition as fratty star wars characters and fratty frisbees.  We begin our countdown with the fifth frattiest vehicle, the Ford Bronco.

You are probably asking yourself, “Ford Bronco?  WTF?”  Your initial knee-jerk interrogative would be understanding, but after a more in-depth analysis, you will realize why the Bronco is among the frattiest of vehicles.

Unlike the fratty vehicles to follow in this countdown, the Bronco does not have an aesthetically pleasing design, an expensive price tag, or the moxie to reel in a sorostitute on a frat lap.  What the Bronco does have is destructibility, meaning that you can tear it to pieces and nobody would care to see it go.  If you accidentally lose the Bronco after fratting a little to hard, accidentally total the Bronco after driving it through the Frat Castle, or accidentally blow up the Bronco during an afternoon of casual hazing, then you are only out a Kelly Blue Book retail value of $53.46, a/k/a one handle of Wild Turkey 101.

However, destructibility is not the only feature the Bronco has in its corner.  Government testing shows that the Bronco only gets 7 miles per gallon on the highway and 4 miles per gallon in the city.  That satisfies the Institute of Fratology requirement that a fratty sport utility vehicle must be under 8 miles per gallon because a fratdaddy needs every excuse possible to go to the gas station for more alcohol and tabacco products.

Finally, the Bronco has many pro-fratdaddy convenience features.  The bed can store 103 cases of your favorite adult beverages, mulitple pledges, or a black glove covered in blood.  So if you’re going to load up at the liquor store, head out for a night of debauchery, or try to outrun the LAPD, then the Ford Bronco is the fratty vehicle for you.

Popularity: unranked [?]