Q: I was at a gathering of members from my fraternity from all over the country and was appalled to find brothers from a certain northeastern school’s chapter not only had hair gel and popped collars, but wore a polo shirt under a polo shirt with dual popped collars. They were, of course, immediately mocked by nearly every other chapter there, especially members of mine and my fellow southern chapters. How can we combat such douchebaggery within our own national fraternity?
A: This question was posted in a comment, and we though it important enough to address on the front page. Unfortunately, it is a sad fact that some chapters of national fraternities have brothers that continue to exhibit douchebaggery after entering the gates of brotherhood.
This is primarily brought about due to 2 reasons: the inadequacy of demanding frattiness from pledges and a culture of not expecting new initiates to accept the responsibility of fratting hard at all times to represent the house well.
This is one of the primary reasons why this website exists: to bring an end to global douchebaggery. It is one thing to see GDI’s not fratting hard…but it’s quite another, even more disturbing site, to see brothers in your fraternity not fratting hard.
This is not a problem that you should take lightly. When you see a fraternity member who is not fratting hard, it is your responsibility as a fratdaddy to show him the error of his ways. Although frattiness may slightly vary across regions, there are absolutes in the frat world. No hair product should ever be seen on a fratdaddy. Dress should be constrained to that which would be acceptable at a normal country club. When you see a fellow member who is not living up to these standards, it is on you to set him right.
Explain to the offending brother that a fratdaddy should be easily distinguished from other members of the campus community. Tell him that his dress, general appearance, and attitude should exude the fact that he has the potential to be among the elites of society. After all, few CEO’s of major corporations wear choker necklaces and spiked hair to the office.
We understand this is easier said than done, and these conversations may become heated if the brother is from a place that is unaccustomed to the intricacies of fratting hard. However, this is the most effective, and perhaps the only, way to combat douchebaggery in your own fraternity.
Q: Professors of Fratology, I have a question about ya’lls opinion on a certain aspect of frattire. Undershirts. I personally think that the undershirt takes away from a fratty’s appearance, but a few of my fellow fratters sport the undershirt regularly. I was just wondering what ya’ll thought about it.
A: The general rule is that an undershirt is unnecessary unless you are wearing a shirt and tie. It’s not douchebaggery to wear an undershirt, but let’s be honest here…sorostitutes love the chest hair.
There is one rule that you should always abide by…if you DO decide to wear an undershirt, it should be a plain, white t-shirt. Wife beaters are not acceptable, except for your shacking partners to wear to brush their teeth in the frat castle the following morning.
Q: Should I replace my current vehicle (1992 Bronco) with a 2000
Land Rover. The guys are split: some say the Bronco has nostalgic value, but
the others seem to think the LR is the way to go (as do I).
A: Generally, the frattiest choice is a relatively new Frathoe or another luxury SUV of some sort. However, exceptions are made for older SUV’s that have uniquely fratty qualities and a high sentimental value based on past fratting experiences. If you have had great success getting rich sorostitutes to shack with you in the back of your old ass Bronco, frat that thing like OJ on the interstate. There are some other great advantages to having an old SUV as well…you don’t mind if your brothers douse the interior with chunks from late night fourth meals from Taco Bell after a long evening of fratting hard.
However, if you have no particular sentimental value attached to the vehicle, going with a ride that is as undeniably fratty as a Land Rover is never a bad decision. So, what is the best answer to this question? It’s actually very simple.
Keep the Bronco, and buy the Land Rover, too. You’ll have a great vehicle to take to the lake and drive up in the front yard of sorostitutes’ houses, and you’ll also have a luxury truck to sport at the country club.
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as for the last comment, i’d say either keep the bronco or get something else besides the rover. get a ram (my favorite), silverado or f-150. throw an exhaust, lift and 35’s on it. i think a truck is alot more appealing than a land rover. we’re not all sig eps or pikes…
About the undrshirt. I dont knw if its me but i see a 4-3 ratio of undershirt wearers in the more conservative fratty schools(mainly in the south). I think theundershirt is a more conservative look and shouldnt always be limited to shirt and tie. Because lets face it in college there are few guys who have chest hair that is thick enough worth showing lol. But I agree nothing other than white short sleeved undershirts. Nothing screams GDI more than a long sleeve pink undershirt that matches the color of the logo on his polo.
College Class Rings: Fratty or no?
I vote for no on the class ring; it’s big and tacky and looks like you got it free with your paid subscription to sports illustrated. Besides, odds are 50% or more of your co-workers will be your fraternity brothers, so they already know your alma mater
The only ring you should wear is the wedding band that you get when you marry some hot sorostitute from Atlanta who will be bearing your future fratlings
Chet:
I don’t think that class rings are necessarily douchebaggery, but I agree with PTMTWH that they are unnecessary. In general, jewelry of any kind should be limited as much as possible. If you’ve already got one, you don’t have to pawn it off for beer money, but if you don’t there’s no reason to buy one.
Hunter,
Our chemistry department is working on a substance that should fix the chest hair problem. This stuff will have you looking like Magnum P.I. in no time.
Seriously, though, you are correct that the plain white undershirt is a fairly traditional look. If you like it, keep it. Like we said, it’s definitely not douchebaggery (far from it), but is more a matter of personal preference. The TYPE of undershirt, as you point out, is the bigger concern.
Let me begin by saying that chest hair is an absolute must. I just wanted to say that I think this site is really helping to revolutionize the frattiness of this great county. For that, Doug and Eric should be congratulated and commended. There are, however, many ways to add to the site’s greatness.
First, more weekly, monthly, or even annual features could be added. For example, why not have an Undergraduate FratStar of the Month. Undergraduates could submit stories and testimonials for consideration. Also, pictures should be submitted on an applicant’s behalf, because appearance is the essence of frat. Doug and Eric could either unilaterally select a winner, or we could vote on one from a narrowed list.
I think another good idea would be to have a monthly party award. Fraternities and sororities could submit the theme and a brief description of the party, and this too could be voted on. To make this a legitimate award, the party should have actually occurred (not just talked about or discussed). Over the years, I have heard so many good ideas, and sometimes I don’t even believe them. For example, I heard about this party at UGA where a fraternity paid midgets to come and dance in cages for the night. If that really happened, it should definitely be recognized as a fratty party idea.
The site could highlight a fraternity, sorority, or perhaps an entire greek system at a different school each week/month for excellence in fratting. This could be converted into an award for frattiest of the year. The candidates for the year-end award should be previous monthly winners.
Lastly, I think there should be a career award for Frattiness. I don’t care how frequently this award is given out, but without a doubt, I should be the first recipient. Please see Magnum PI, particularly seasons 1 - 4.
FHOGH,
Tom Selleck
i would like to extend my gratitude to frattyfsu for displaying extreme wisdom in saying PI KAPPA ALPHA is the greatest fraternity established ever.
fratdaddy nelson
last time i checked wearing abercrombie, spiking your hair and not knowing any of your brothers didn’t make a good fraternity
Doug for your next FAQ segment i think some good topics to hit on would be Night Costas and the 4 panel seer sucker shorts. With the night costas (costas on croakies turned around in coller so croakies hang in front: for the GDIs who have no clue what im talking about) i find about about 50% of the frat community sport them at night. I occasionally sport them but ive heard a few guys say they do not wear them at all at night. Whats your thoughts? And the 4 panel seersucker shorts(brooks brothers), i ifind them to be pretty fratty but some of the more conservative frat daddies wont wear them. Again whats your thoughts? Just thought id give some good ideas for later posts.
I have a bad situation. My boyfriend got into this fratty fraternity, but the council of douchebaggery decided to decline my admission. Are there any “favors” that you know of that could help me get into this fraternity?
What shouldn’t been done to a Frathoe? I know spinners and shit should never be put on the Frathoe, but is there anything else? One other thing is weed and other drugs. Are they fratty or not? I’m more of a drinker.
wtf?
Seriously, what the hell. Leave immediately and never return or your head will explode.
In response to the first question and answer, it must be a problem with many fraternities. Colleges above the Mason Dixon line just don’t know how to be fratty, but think they really are (with the exception of some schools).
Palmetto,
First, as we’ve said before, we’re not going to ever condone drugs on this website because jail isn’t fratty. The esteemed fratdaddy should be able to frat perfectly hard with alcohol (and tobacco products, if one is so inclined…our personal favorite being the expensive cigar for special occasions).
As for the Frathoe, don’t do much to it at all. If you are an outdoorsman, you may want to put slightly larger tires on it (but don’t make it a monster truck). Put on your small, gold greek letters, no more than one reference to your University (if even that), and you’re good to go.
Gentlemen, I’m of the opinion that the undershirt should never be worn with a polo. There is absolutely no need for it. Previous generations consider the undershirt to be in the “underwear” category; what’s next, walking around exposing your boxers with your pants at groin level? Incidentally, this phenomenon appears to have started recently. I sure as hell have never seen my father or grandfather rocking a polo with a chunk of white shirt exposed.
the undershirt is completely optional depending on the person. but can probably live by the rule to just wear them in the winter if at all, dont all other seasons when it is for the most part warm. (i must though exempt the unfortunate souls that live above SC) i say this because noone wants to see your pale harry chest exposed. and if you can pull off the v-neck=TFM
oh and if you do decide to take part in illegal drugs and you are not Boston George, dont advertise it.
undershirts are for coat and tie attire
your chest hair should be a magnet traditional women
bronco any day
alot of pussies drive those land rovers; not all but many
I agree completely with FrattyFSU, you should know your brothers.
On a unlrelated subject i frequently enter class 5+ minutes late and i was wondering is this was fratty in nature or not. If for no other reason it allows for prime seating next to the best sorostitutes.
FIJI:
If you see our field guide to GDI’s, you will see that we mention entering class late as a good way to avoid some douchebaggery. It’s especially good if you have class on Fridays, as all sorostitutes who went out the night before will come in late as well.
Fratty eyewear(sunglasses that is), what do you guys think? I’m a fan of thin framed Costas.
Blue,
Can’t go wrong with those. We endorse Costas as the talisman of fratty eyewear.
Doug you never responded to my night costas and four panel seer sucker shorts post ^. lol
Hunter,
I’m going to save the night Croakies question for now because we’re planning a story exclusively on sunglasses (brands, rules, etc.) soon. I’ll say this much though…if I’ve been out during the day with my Costas on, I won’t hesitate to whip them around to my neck when the sun goes down.
I think the 4-panels are a touchy subject. I wouldn’t recommend them for everyday wear, but I do think they could have a place on special occasions. For instance, if you’re having a summer outdoor cookout with 10 or 12 of the frattiest people you know, I think they might serve well to knock the frat up a level or so.
tEXas — Yes, the northeast, as anywhere, is host to fraternities so full of douchebags they deserve Summers Eve sponsorship. But you’re ignoring the stronghold of fratdom that will never leave certain circles in New England liberal arts and Ivy League schools. The fraternities here that consistently draw in legacies set the first standard for fratty and continue to frat hard, despite the increasing influx of douchebags who try to fake breeding. (And yes, this is a side effect of such schools’ competition with each other to become the most Socioeconomically Diverse.)
Anyway, I’d be interested in seeing a piece on fratty sports. Some obvious ones include tennis, golf, squash, lacrosse, and sailing. Although baseball, football, and basketball are great to watch and follow, I would say as far as actually participating, the players’ culture can approach meatbag and ghettofabulous territories too much. Then there are some borderline ones like crew (filling up with more GDI’s in my opinion), water polo and rugby (dangerously steaky), and so on.
Pioneer,
Good idea on the sports piece. Some of these we’ll cover in Fratty Activities 301 (Link), but we might do a comprehensive sports post as well.
That’s a good point about the Ivy League schools, Pioneer. I think you can also make an exception for Skull and Bones and the like that require the best of connections. They frat so hard they call themselves a secret society because fraternity just dosen’t do it justice. Although they’re rapidly losing frat points since they now let women in even if those women are well connected legacies.
I own a 2005 Z71 frathoe and was thinking of trading it in for a 2007 LTZ frathoe. Should I keep the one I have now or trade it in and get a new one?
Clayton,
Since your old Frathoe is fairly new itself, it’s probably not big in sentimental value….trade it in for the newer model and keep riding in style.
I have just taken an informal survey of the 20 best and frattiest sorostitutes that I know and we have all come to the conclusion that we do NOT like chest hair shown when wearing a polo and we much prefer the normal undershirts (not v-neck) under polos. Everyone was unanimous on the undershirt being preferrable to showing chest hair… and that if caught wearing a wifebeater- said offender should be shot. It was discussed at length and informally decided that if the polo is properly buttoned so as not to show hair sprouting from chest… then we’re ok with that. You shouldn’t have to show you’re chest hair to let us know you’re a man whose fratting hard.
i have been fratting especially hard in recent weeks due to the very unfratty nature of my frat brothers. i figured maybe i could change their ways thorough fratmosis. but it has not seem to be working.
Doug, do you have any ideas that i could use to pursuade my frat, frat hard and often
Whoever said “get something else besides the rover. get a ram (my favorite), silverado or f-150. throw an exhaust, lift and 35’s on it. i think a truck is alot more appealing than a land rover.” needs to start shopping at Abercrombie.
You’re done here.
So I was just wondering if it was appropriate for a fratdaddy to date a non-sorostitute. I mean If i meet a gorgeous girl whose down with everyone in my frat, but shes not a greek…thats acceptable right?
Yes it is…unless you are flagrant homosexual
in the instance that a brother simply cannot wear his hair in a common frat-top and must use a hair product, what should be done?
ostracized
I think a little chest hair, not a carpet or anything, is sexy. I don’t like undershirts they remind me of pledges
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