It should be fairly clear as to why luxury vehicles have a place in our fratty vehicles countdown. Everyone knows that on a college campus, nothing says, “my family can buy and sell your family,” like one of the finer luxury automobiles. For this countdown, we decided to group a large collection of luxury vehicles together because there is not much of a fratological difference between an Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Infiniti, Lexus, etc. We are mainly discussing vehicles manufactured by companies that our government does not have an equity stake in; therefore, a fully loaded Buick Rendezvous or similar vehicle is not part of this countdown.
This entry also does not include a couple of different types of vehicles that are indeed fratty, but are not practical to the typical undergraduate fratter. First, large luxury SUV’s, such as the Lexus LX 470, are post-grad fratty. These are used to haul fratlings, not pledges. That is why God created the Frathoe. You can graduate to the luxury level after you walk across the stage, get a ring on your finger, and/or have one cooking in the oven. Next, vehicles that are at the top of the line or exotics, such as the Mercedes-Benz S600, BMW 7-Series, Ferrari’s, Bentley’s, etc., are for successful post-grad fratters. In the frat life, you should go through the hierarchy of vehicles, not just hop in a Ferrari at age sixteen. Again, that does not mean those vehicles are not fratty. There is just a time and place for them after fratting hard as an undergraduate.
That leads us to what is included in this fratty countdown. The two primary categories are fratty luxury cars and fratty luxury SUV’s. Cars are acceptable for fratdaddies and sorostitutes. However, the SUV’s are only for sorostitutes. No fratdaddy should be making frat laps in an M-Class; this is not because the car is inherently not fratty, but rather reflects the fact that there are frattier (and more utilitarian) SUV choices for the fratdaddy. Obviously, a Frathoe is better for hauling the boat and “camping” trips than a BMW.
These vehicles are fratty for several reasons, with the first obviously being the luxury aspect. There is nothing like using heated seats to “toast your buns” on the way home from the bar and using the factory GPS system so you can actually find your way home from the bar. Also, the price tags of these vehicles, while not the most expensive, still prices out GDI’s and reminds them that they are too poor to be frat everytime they see one on campus. Finally, these vehicles carry almost instant frat credibility. If you spot someone behind the wheel of a vehicle in this countdown, then you do not have to wonder, “if they are in a fraternity or sorority,” but “what fraternity or sorority.” In conclusion, if you want to frat hard on wheels, then you cannot go GDI with one of the vehicles that would qualify under this countdown.
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Ahhhh the luxury fratmobile. My ’04 3-series is about to make it through the final semester of law school and has been through some shit with me.
i have a 1996 green Land rover discovery. it is pretty fratty with a Vineyard vines sticker a UVA lacrosse and KAPPA ALPHA ORDER member on the back windshield
I’ve got a ’09 Black Ford F-150. Not exactly luxury but pile a few kegs in the back and you become party royalty.
3 series is the persian car of choice
I think you should get extra fratty points for having a stick shiftl. On top of that driving a manual is just a lot more fun and takes more skill. I have one and I never want to get an automatic in my life.
I drive an 05 Volvo S60, defiantly the perfect fratty vehicle for anyone who likes to booze and cruise to the party since its the safest car on the road.
“Companies that our government does not have an equity stake in”— well played sirs.
’04 3 series is not fratty lol, fratty would be minimum new body style.. You can pick up 04s for like 10k
Volvo S60 is a chick car MSU
’06 760Li v12
http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/doosh1.png
G-Wagen. Thoughts?
’05 Z71 for me (Paid Off) and an ’05 Luxus SUV for the lady… also paid off. Having a super flashy car to me is not fratty…. unless you are seriously seriously banking… which most of us probably aren’t. I think most of us make $80-150K. Being in mortgage banking for years and seeing 1000′s of credit reports, I’ve seen countless douchebags making $50K and driving Escalades….
Last month while visiting my GF’s father’s fraternity brother’s house (worth $6M), the cars he owned were an ’03 Expedition and an ’05 Cadillac STS. He had a late model Navigator for the wife he probably paid $26K wholesale. The guy’s antique shotgun collection was probably worth three times more than all of them put together.
The frattiest guy I know and my best friend drives a ’95 XJ12 and an old ass Explorer with 180,000 miles on it. But…. he smokes Montecristo #2′s everyday. The XJ’s probably worth $10K but it’s the last year Jag made a V12 in a true two-seater and is British racing green with wire spoke wheels. Personally, I would much rather drive that than some chromed out POS that screams “Look at me… I have money!!”
Just my opinion… I like luxury cars but in most cases, the flashier the car, the poorer, broker, and dumber the GDI.
Any thoughts???
Yeah you have a point there clayton…most old money types don’t drive brand new flashy cars
G-Wagen is frat. A military vehicle equipped with a luxurious interior. Too expensive for GDIs to get their hands on. Timeless bodystyle. Hand made in Austria. Also gets about 10-12 MPG, very nice. We had a Pledge brother who bought an ML430 Mercedes. He was made fun of for the rest of his college career. What a piece of shit.
Nothing like driving an old hand me down luxury saloon in college. Mercedes S class, Lexus LS, Bmw 740 etc. Fits many sorostitutes, lots of ridiculous amenities inside.
Agreed, a good fratmobile shouldn’t be a pos but doesn’t need to be flashy. A subtle luxury car is much better than seeing some GDI screaming look at me I wish I had money. People that actually have money don’t need to tell the world that they do.
Clayton’s right on this one.
“Ferrari’s, Bentley’s, etc., are for” nouveau and jews. Don’t get me wrong, Lexus, Audi, MB, etc. are great choices, but once you get into exotics, you’re showing your real roots.
Be a man and get a nice boat/plane/chopper and don’t spend all your time talking about it. Ferrari, Bentley, and almost all Porsche drivers were born to fathers of questionable lineage. The only exception is true old money, the sort that still has the nondescript-colored Rolls they bought in the 1970s, while the new money went through 10 cars in that time period.
Keep your money in the bank, not the driveway.
Thanks for the support, fellas. Jimbo, love the line about “questionable lineage”. So true… SO true. I actually live in what is technically the wealthiest county in my state and even here, seems like too many people are trying to be something they’re not. North Dallas keeps getting worse and worse. Tons of guys living in 1 bedroom apartments wearing $240 jeans and driving chromed out Hummers. My personal rule has always been to never pay more than 10% of your monthly income towards your ride. Why dump your money into bank interest and a marked up vehicle that depreciates the minute you drive it off the lot?? Every real “old money” type I’ve known is frugal as hell. The funny thing is people with no money try to look like they have plenty of it. People with REAL money generally like to say how broke they are and will never let you know they have a dime until they know you well and trust you.
Kind of like with suits … The mid level managers I’ve known that max out their credit cards buying $800 suits that go out of their way to TELL you it was $800. Personally, I stock up at Brooks Brothers when they have a major sale and walk out with a perfectly crafted classic suits for under $400 a piece.
Y’all have a good week…..
I drive a prius hybrid, i know its not the frattiest vehicle on the road but i decked it out with tinted windows, a lacoste sticker, a UF gators cross country sticker, and my frat letters SIGMA CHI on it.
Generally the old money types are those that have made it in business. If they have made it in business, they understand that cash flow is the king; so they basically bootstrap their personal lives. Pretty good way to do it.
That being said, I really love Porsche (911 Turbo) and Aston Martin. I think they’re beautiful cars. Say I’m a douche, it doesn’t change my mind.
I find that many of my frattiest friends and I get our cars handed down from our parents. I have an 06′ Audi A6 for weekends and golf trips. and a 05′ Honda Pilot for rolling deep during the week. My friends have similar type cars. The guy on campus (at least where I am) with the brand new s600 just looks like a total douche. My brother has a 97′ LR Defender that would run frat circles around that nouveau P.O.S.
Aaaahhhh. The Defender to me is probably the coolest truck ever made. I friggin’ love those. Right on with the s600…. it’s probably the only shack bait he has…. and he probably needs it desperately. About as classy as driving a yellow Ferrari…..
’71 Toyota Landcruiser fully restored TFM
the defender is one of the frattiest trucks on my list. They’re bullet proof and rare so only people in the know can truly appreciate them. Plus their expensive but not flashy so no guido gdi would ever even think to get one
Clayton, Just to update you, yesterday I was talking to some friends in our school parkinglot on the way to our cars and we passed the s600 kid. As he walked by I swear we heard him say to his friend “Wait up, I left my FRISBEE in THE BENZ”… world. class. douche.
What is everyone’s opinion on lift kits? Nothing monster truck-like, maybe about 3 or 4 inches
LOL… Nothing like putting those two words in the same sentence!! A few years ago I went out with a girl who insisted on repeatedly referring to her car specifically as her “Benz”…. As in “So I just had my Benz washed” and “I have to go move my Benz”…. never called her back.
As far as that damn Defender…. I damn near jizz myself whenever I see one. I think your brother could probably wear a friggin’ Ed Farty shirt while driving that thing and STILL look like the man….
’71 Landcruiser = TFM. Right there with Bankster’s brother’s Defender. Honoable mention should also go to 69-72 Ford Bronco/International Scout.
As far as lift kits, ZBDELT0386… my past three z71 all had a 3-4″ suspension lift. When I buy another another car later this year, considering a used low mileage Jag XK8) I hope to lift my current truck. I would definitely stay away from anything over 4″ however. First, you don’t really need it… as far as hunting and going offroad, the skill of the driver is far more important than the size of the truck. Second, when I see a 6″ lift with huge tires, I think of guys’ with tons of Fox Racing decals and goofy ass Monster decals. Or that dipshit kid you went to high scool that now works at Jiffy Lube and has a huge “Redneck” sticker on his back window……
I drive a Jeep renegade with a 2 inch lift and a snorkeled engine. It is a 90 but a tank and gets me from one bar to another, not to mention i live at the beach and it is the best car made for cruising on the sand….frat or not?
First of all, driving an S60 to the MSU guy is fine. Who gives a shit? My Dad used to drive an S60 before he bought an old BMW. We have an S560 fully restored for the Summer, but since the Winter has been fucked, Dad thought he’d buy a good 4-wheel-drive wagon. While ‘frat’ dudes may think that SUVs are the shit, I really could care less. I’m not partial to the SUV. I understand trucks, but SUVs are really gigantic pieces of shit that come across as new money faggotry. When I see a z71, the first thing I think is that there’s going to be a Delta Waterfowl or DU sticker on the back. I’m right at least 50% of the time. If you drive a decent car/truck (non-rice-burner), who gives a fuck. PS, the old Ford Bronco is the titz.
I loved my ’96 Defender 90…red soft-top with a 3 inch lift. They appreciate in value, they don’t have air bags because its a true off-road vehicle. So since they’re mandated to have them now, that’s why they don’t sell them here anymore at your typical Land Rover dealerships. I had to get mine shipped here from the UK a speciality dealership here in Atlanta. best SUV I’ve ever owned, but unfortunately totaled it my 2nd year… trying to save up and get another one
Any thoughts on an 05 mini cooper S
Agreed on the lift kit, and the 71′ Landcruiser, theres a company called icon that makes now versions of the olf FJs they are so cool I’ve seen one at a friend’s hunting cabin it’s hard to beat, and they’re really basic and low profile unlike some Defenders which are yellow… Forrest green is the way to go
03 Acura TL-S for all of u-grad. Super comfy backseat and lots of hidden compartments were pretty clutch for roadtrips, and it’s nice enough to work for dates but simple enough for pledges to drive.
any hazing stories? i heard for our rival fraternity 27 pledges were given 27 bottles of jack daniels and told to chug 1/3 of it. after that, they were made to get naked and each brother would punch them as hard as possible on their stomach (so 70 punches to the stomach per person), and they would take a shot, get punched until they boot, take a shot, get punched until boot, until each bottle was done
Just looked at the Icon. Looks like a stellar piece of machinery after I read an article and saw some pics. I couldn’t find a price anywhere but considering they’re entirely handmade…. I assume it’s hefty. Super Nice.
GamblinginHavana, I think Bankster was referring to a kid in a flashy new Guido/Rapper Benz. Fag Car.
1980′s 560SL’s are the shit, though. Kudos to your pops.
BTW, I drive SUV’s and trucks because I’m 6’4 and most cars are generally a huge pain in the ass for me to get in and out of.
Lexus RX 300. I’ve had it since high school and it still looks good enough to get me through my final year of grad school.
Old school Bronco or full-size Blazer fully restored. While we’re on that topic, any luxury model of semi-classic nature screams frat. Any GDI faggot can get financed for a new car model. I typically see these individuals driving Lexus models(ex IS250). Japan is not frat so it makes sense. European is the only true fratty option. High quality and conservative styling should be the only criteria.
I currently drive a land rover discovery. I absolutely love it. The sorostitutes love it too. I think it’s perfect for right now but i’m saving the defender or range rover as a present to myself whenever i get into med school.
Inherited ’91 Mercedes 420sel, stock aside from the NRA sticker and the quarter million miler club emblem.
got a ramcharger 4×4 and 4 on the floor, perfect for those pledge retreats in the backwoods, under 15 mpg, and a cargo area great for flats & flats of fratwater its great for the undergrad fratting. not expensive however it is timeless. defenders are legit, i especially like the 110′s
I’d love to own a defender at some point in my life perhaps as a toy but I just bought a 2010 Honda Ridgeline and I’m considering adding the 2″ lift. It gets amazing mileage for a 4×4 and the bed-trunk is perfect for loading it up with beer and ice!
What are the views on a red Jeep Wrangler and my second vehicle, a white Chevy Blazer.