Have you ever found yourself in a situation that was rife with all the frattiness of a Star Trek convention? Even worse…was the situation such that you could not easily slip out in an effort to remove yourself from the fratitude draining douchebaggery within?
How did you handle it? This post was inspired by one of our readers who told an uplifting tale of how he “frattabbed in spirit” while stuck at a party where Abercrombie was the rule, and not the exception. We can only guess how much fratdrenaline he had running through his veins in an effort to fratify the room.
In your comments below, tell us your stories about how you fratted hard to turn around an unfratty situation. Turn a lagging party into a hit? Make a seemingly unsuccessful evening into a prime shacking opportunity? Tell us about it.
Please, only post your frattiest of fratty stories here. All other comments will be deleted in the spirit of keeping the post fratty stories only.
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Ok everybody…here’s the new fratty testimonials page. Anything that’s not a fratty testimonial will be deleted…we’re not out to regulate discussion too much, but we’re going to do it on this thread just so we can keep a collection of fratty stories from our readers in one place for all to read.
So crack open some frat water and tell us the frattiest stories you’ve got.
My chest hair got on the jumbotron at the Jimmy Buffett concert in Atlanta. Frattiest moment of my life
I once made 3 different pledges cry during a big brother night by only yelling at them… I said some pretty hillarious shit.
We initiated our pledges before the semester was over, so we called a chapter from a surrounding school and invited their pledges over for the weekend for an “open house” aka us having a party and them giving rides all night.
showed up to a party w/ a tri delt.. had a GDI’s girl take me to the side of the house.. then left w/ a zeta… it was a good night
I went to a formal with a sorority bim, we left shortly thereafter to go to the Greek bar. I found a past fling there and proceded to receive oral from her in the bathroom. With a line in the women’s room, my date to aforementioned formal walked in to the men’s. I was caught. Enraged she told the bouncer I was not 21 and had me briefly banned from the bar. In a outstanding turn of events I ended up nailing the original sorostitute at my frat castle. I then made her buy me Mcdonald’s breakfast the next morning with meal points. Whammy!
last night me and fellow sororstitute got left at baseball tailgate and we stumbled across a gdi tailgate. it was all guys, 2 people were playing beer pong and there rest of them were just standing around playing with their dicks. being true fratstars we took over tailgate. shockingly they didn’t offer us beers so we took them, turned the tailgate into a massive flip cup tournament and after finishing all of there miller lite headed down to the bars so fratdaddies could run up huge frat tabs for us and we could shack in their frat castle. very fratsessful night.
oral in the bathroon, way to keep it classy
Me and a brother were considerably enebriated and left a football game early. We proceeded to raid opposing fans tailgates on our way back to ours and came out with two new coolers and four cases worth of beer. A little later we end up trading a bunch of GDIs a six pack (filled with one heineken, one corona light, one regular corona, and three Beasts) for three packs of camel lights (what a bunch of douchebags). We get too drunk to walk the 300 yards to the house, so we call a pledge to get us, but to get us some food first. With traffic it took too long so we eventually walked back to the house. I’m not really sure what happened with the food, or the pledge for that matter.
Perhaps the frattiest day of my life:
12:30pm: Woke up hungover as hell from the night before. Rolled over, saw a cute blond sorostitue asleep (strangely she was cuter the night before). Rolled the other way, saw two condoms on the floor, both used. Realizing that I had alread missed my first two morning classes, I desided to take the rest of the day off.
1:00pm: Sorostitue leaves in gym shorts and issued fraternity t-shirt (standard walk-of-shame attire) barefoot carrying her heels and dress from the night before.
1:05pm: I satisfied my thirst with a few Fratty Lights leftover from the night before, just as two of my brothers come in to exchange stories of their crazy evening.
1:10pm: Checked online banking…both accounts, overdrawn. Product of intense frat tabbing the evening before.
1:11pm: Called dad, explained that I “overdrew my account at the bookstore”
1:17pm: Rechecked balance. Confirmed dad’s deposit. Funds restored to normal.
1:30pm: Went with three brothers to play a round of golf. Played well on the front 9, not so well on the back 9 due to intoxication. Eneded the day in the Country Club grill with a few Jack and Cokes.
5:30pm: Went to the lake via Pledge Taxi. Went out on a brother’s boat. Consumed massive amounts of frat water. Met some sorostitues and invited them to a party at the frat castle that evening. Recieved a ticked from DNR for public disturbance. (Ticket was never paid. Brother’s dad is a member of congress who pulled some connections.)
7:30pm: Returned to the frat castle (again via PT) Cooked out on the front lawn. Threw the ball for my dog Georgia, a chocolate lab. Ate some very good BBQ while rocking out to the sounds of Tom Petty, Bon Jovi and Styx.
9:30pm: Cleaned up and dawned my evening attire: some VV dock shorts, my bar-funk covered Sperrys and a Polo complimented by a Titelist hat.
10:00pm: Began the infamous pre-game as the Pledges set up for the party at the house.
11:30pm: Feeling good, ready to party. Meet up with the sorostitues from the lake. Continue to consume copious amounts of delicious frat water via both can and keg.
12:45pm: GDIs show up. Party begins to smell of douche. GDIs promptly removed. Fratmosphere restored.
1:30pm: Leave for the Greek bar.
1:40pm: Get to the Greek bar.
1:45pm: Order shots at Greek bar…
10:46am: Wake up next to sorostitute from lake…I realize its Wednesday and remember I have an accounting test in 5 minutes. Slip in at the last minute…ace the test.
Repeat.
the last few events took place in the am not pm
McFratterson, that story was priceless.
There’s been a bunch of ultra-fratty events that have happened to me, yet the most rewarding was my freshman year. I had to (as a pledge) cleanup the house in the morning before a game, being hung over as fuck, and getting my balls hazed off because one of my pledge bro’s was late. Later that day, had to run beeper during the game, and setup for band party at night. All day long though, there was one specific brother that hazed me especially hard.
What made it so rewarding was the during the band party, I ran into his girlfriend, who was mad at him because he had passed out on a random couch in the fraternity house before she even got there. So, being the gentleman that I was, I took care of her for the rest of the evening by going to the aforementioned brother’s room (in the house), drinking the rest of his jack and coke, and having sex with her on his bed, leaving my man juice all over his sheets.
And, if that wasn’t immediately rewarding enough, when I told him what I had done a semester later at a bar, he bought me a drink and said “fuck her, she was a bitch anyway”.
UT,
Fratastic story. As if nailing your bro’s girl wasn’t bad enough, you did it in his bed. The man goo…perhaps a little much, but atleast you got your point accross.
Reading these stories makes me extremely excited to transfer back to the better part of the United States and leave this GDI western state (Colorado). Anyway, when I was a pledge we had a swap with the G-Phi’s. Although they are a weak sorority down south, out here they’re beautiful. I was the social chair for my pledge class, so I scheduled the swap for the day before my ex-girlfriend flew out here to visit me. IAt the party I saw this one beautiful sorostitute that caught my eye, and I straight told my friend she would leave the party with me that night and sleep in my bed.
Low and Behold, I hit the nail on the head and we shacked up in my dorm (I kicked my GDI roommate out of the room at like 3 am). I woke up at 11:30 and the chick was gone, leaving only the little message “Thanks for the night. I had fun” behind. I threw the note and the condom away, and picked my ex-girlfriend up 45 minutes later. We obviously put that bed back to use and went to the fratcastle to pregame for the night. At about 1 my ex-girlfriend went back to her hotel because she was tired and had jet-lag. As soon as she was gone, I called up another G-Phi girl (which was best friends with the lady from the night before) and proceded to kick my roommate out again at 3 am for some excellent shacking. I’d say a successful weekend.
Is there a common name for the following sequence of events…
you are out at the bars or a party at your castle (once for me at a tailgate at 930am..i love college). you are talking to a sorostitute (either a random or one you already know). Youre both reaching dangerous levels of drunktitude and mutually decide the shacking cant wait. So you get the pledge on beeper to pick you up or just go upstairs if youre already at the castle and proceed to make it happen. Only when its over shes passed out and you need atleast 10 more fratty lights after the workout. so you leave her in bed and head back to the party.
possible name, “seventh inning stretch”…
I once drank Smirnoff Twisted IV.
That is all.
What’s with the absence of the proper GDI nomenclature of “Shane” on this website?
In just about every situation it is highly probably the GDI, who snuck into your frat lodge for a night of embarassment, goes by the name of Shane. It is even more probable he drives a camaro, single cab truck and asks the usual question “do you guys have any bacardi razz or vodka screwdrivers?”
Typically they are removed with usual swagger and suave but there is the occasional meathead that causes a fratbash to go down. This warrants an organized attack of brothers known as a fratattack which usually consists of yelling and little fighting. Why drop to meat head level when whiskey circles, endless diet beer and smoking hot sororstitues await back inside the compound.
This is why the Shane Nation must be kept out of the south. Here at the U of A we’re doing our best to continue bottle breaking and the enjoyment of the fratmosphere.
We were having a mixer with some sorostitutes at the local frat castle. After consuming copious amounts of frat water and shots of rum, some random sororstitute told me her dad was an alum of our house and proceeded to ask me for a “tour” of the house. Ending the house “tour” in my room, I show up to my fellow roommate with one of her sisters, so I took her down to the informal couch. Realizing I was in need of a rubber, I threw my boxers on and took off sprinting down the hallway. As soon as a condom flew out of a room, I went downstairs and began business. Not more than 15 minutes into it, I realize all the fratdaddies had just arrived home from the bars, and were in the same room imitating me by air humping. After I finally get them all to leave (without stopping the actioin), I look up and realize one is 6 inches from my head with a big grin on his face. Finish on the couch, tell the sorostitute I am going to bed. Told the pledges to give her an OJ and newspaper in the morning, but she was gone…. oh well
While partying at the frat castle annex down the street from campus, a brother decided to do a good deed and take a sorostitute home. I decide to take the shuttle with them back to campus to satisfy a different sorostitute who had recently called to inform me she was back at her sorority dorm and was in need of a fratdaddy such as myself to end the night with. The brother, in a drunktaneous state, forgot to leave his fratwater back at the annex and walks to the shuttle with his sorostitute. As luck would have it, just as he makes it to the street the blue lights appear out of nowhere. Busted. Knowing he could hold his own and not wanting to receive an open container violation myself, I rush the sorostitute to the shuttle and leave the scene. I receive the invite up to her dorm room and we consume her GDI roommate’s stash of ice cold fratty light. Just as I thought things were looking good, she excuses herself and reaches into a drawer and pulls from a small cardboard box that dreaded small wrapped object that signals trouble. Having just met the sorostitute and not knowing her sexual habits I assumed that she was out of commission. I then knew it was time for some improfratzation. I quickly remembered the original sorostitute and made the call. Within minutes I was shacking in the sorority dorm for the 2nd night in a row. Successful night.
Perhaps one of my frattiest moments…one day I was drinking straight whiskey at the pool, getting wasted, and I met a KD who happened to be sitting right next to me. We exchanged numbers and a few days later we were fucking each others brains out. After we fucked, I had her drive me to Wendy’s in her Lexus Suv and she paid for me. It was great because I never talked to her again.
While I was interning for a Southern, GOP senator in DC, of course hooked up to me by my father, my other intern fratters and I went to the Robert Earl Keen concert in Virginia. Fresh from work, where I was sporting a Seersucker suit, pink and blue VV tarpon tie, Masters Belt and Costas with croakies, we left the Capital Hill Club (club for Republicans near the Capitol) to drive to VA. We then found out that a lobbyist had an open tab for us, though all that was served at said concert space was Virginia Gentleman bourbon and Shiner Bock (surprisingly). Not one to pass up on a free drink offer, I consumed who knows how many pitchers of Shiner Bock and quite a bit of bourbon as well. The night went hazy after he played one of the frattiest Christmas songs of all time, Merry Christmas From the Family. After that, I apparently passed out on a park bench outside. I then re-awoke from my blacked out status in the District at my apmt (in Georgetown, of course, right near Smith Point), having no idea how I got there. All I remember about the blacked out part is meeting people from Mississippi, so I’m guessing that I charmed my fellow Southerners into giving me a free ride into DC (didn’t have any cash and the taxis weren’t accepting credit cards). There’s no real punch-line here, but passing out in one state and waking up in another (no pun intended), and not knowing how it happened, is pretty fratty. Plus it’s REK, so that has to count for something.
Nothing too special just a normal fratty day…
Woke up after a drunktaneous night, put on some VV dock shorts complimented by a RL polo, sperry’s, and my costa and croakies and headed to the lake. After drinking copious amounts of frat water on the lake with my fellow frat daddy’s we headed to my friends Dad’s house/camp up in the mountains where we would invite some reliable sorostitutes to have a good night. After paying for the frat water for beirut (beer pong whatever you prefer) bought some goose for the sorostitues, and some bourbon for the frat daddy’s. After the fratmosphere had peaked listening to some CCR and Bon Jovi while drinking bourbon and coke a sorostitute had me in her fratscope. We went up stairs and had a good time, she made my pancakes and eggs for breakfast. That day went fishing in the river behind the house, then went to the shooting club had some blue moons, then repeated the night with another sorostitute. successful two days
Fratscope: The act of a sorostitute having her eyes locked on a fratty daddy who is fratting so hard that she has to shack with him.
Example: Ashley had the frat daddy in his VV dock shorts and RL polo drinking bourbon and coke doing the frat shuffle to living on a prayer in her fratscope, with all intentions of shacking on her mind
teebs thats beautiful
You don’t have to be in phi alpha to know how to spell, douchebag.
Perhaps the frattiest thing in the name of a Founder.
Isaac M. Jordan - one of the seven founders of the Sigma Chi Fraternity - met his tragic end by falling down an elevator shaft. Perhaps a product of a becoming drunktaneous on his lunch break from his fratty occupation of being a lawyer.
In his honor, we have coined his name as the title for the act of fratjaculating on a sorostitue and avoiding the awkward morning by pushing her down an elevator shaft.
All honor and praise to his name.
PA-E-Dog you are a shameful disgrace keep any of us and all that you mentioned should remain private
by the way your “name” is gayer than any i have seen
yea i have the balls to do that e-dogs. and why the fuck are you posting on this website at 12:23 am. you should be out frat tabbing it up and hitting on hot sorostitutes. oh and to mention the chapter im in, ill say two words: Mother Mu. if you were still in pledgeship even while i was a newboy, i could have hazed your balls off.
^^^ good job setting PA E-douche straight
PA-edog, you are a disgrace to Noble. Give it up and stop plastering important shit on this site. Typical GDI shane move throwing that out to people you don’t even know.
BTW- the founding member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon died a much frattier death than that sigmachi. Noble was fratting so hard his sperry’s slipped on a wet dock and he fell between a fratty boat and the dock and then drowned an honorable death. Not to mention he was headed off the fight the armies of northern agression with other brothers.
Mother Mu, PA to you my friend for laying the true frat down and weeding out douchebaggery from our establishment. I wish we would disown the “E-dog” nickname. It’s completaly shane and douche. The proper nomenclature would be “Sig Alph”. Keep shit simple and sweet, like a mint julip.
PA pig SOOOOOIIIEEEEEEE
Someone delete all of these guys posts, I thought these we testimonials, not liars bickering over stupid shit.
good point ‘TheDude.” maybe they should be given their own section, Douchebag Testimonials, where they can continue their pointless arguing and contributions to the douchebagosphere.
How to Frat hard in High School- In a couple of months I will be heading off to a fine Southern University, hopefully this testimonial bears good signs for future fratting…Luckily for me I attend a reputable all boys Prep School so my run-ins with the GDI nation is limited, also the dress code is coat and tie forcing the deuschbag appearance to be left for weekend dress if such GDI’s choose, however we still have some gel heads running around. The campus is acres and acres of large brick and stone buildings named after wealthy alumni who were undoubtedly fratstars in their days (whats frattier than donating enough money to have a building named after you?), the hallways are filled with sons of notable politicians, lawyers, doctors and fortune 500 business owners- naturally the frattitude is off the charts (for high school). So my friends and I asked the question, what can be done to frat harder our last year here? Our answers led us to boost the fratmosphere exponentially and in turn resulted in some of the best school days we’ve ever had. First, we decided we were “above” school lunch, and that golfing should no longer be reserved for weekends, so we climbed in the frathoes and frattabbed daily at each friend’s respective country club, hit the range, tabbed a lunch on dad, and got a quick steam and shower in before returning to school. When our teachers learned of our routine, the liberal GDI types practically exploded with angry rants of wastefulness, while the former prep school- fratstars nodded and laughed in approval, since it was all within the rules the daily routine went on. Secondly, the “mid-day-shack” became a quite popular option for those of us with willing local private school girls, undoubtedly making the school day that much better. Third, is what I like to call “loss of time perception” where weeknights, weekends and hell even weekdays all became possible party opportunities, where getting drunktaneous on a school night or middle of a school day became a regular occurrence. Granted a hungover calc class might not be too enjoyable, but the memories of the night before certainly were. Lastly, we made sure to tastefully dress fratty everyday (emphasis on tasteful) with popular options including the seersucker pant, pastel chinos, some variation of a solid or striped oxford typically RL, BB, or VV, and custom VV school ties. I personally taught myself how to tie a bowtie this year and worked that into the school attire. Most assuredly the winter months brought the addition of Wallabees to daily wear just as spring welcomed the Topsiders and sunglasses. Finally the crowning moment of frattitude came with the purchase of our first pairs of croakies for our newly bought ray bans or personal choice of costas, other such fratty activities were packing lips of skoal in the bathroom, class lounges, cars, or library, we quickly found bandits were discrete easy options for in-school dipping. The future looks bright too- we noticed a group of about 5 or so sophomores emulating us back in January, hell we didn’t even care when they snuck off campus for lunch and we ran into them at the club, we were just proud of their arrogance and disregard for school rules. With all done and said, I look back at this year with some of the fondest memories of my life only to realize I’ve yet to even truly experience fratting as I will in the coming months, I’m just glad my best years are ahead of me. Thank you all
I would like to expand my fine knowledge of fratty wear by someone here telling me what line of clothing is “W”?
Vineyard Vines see-www.vineyardvines.com
One of the Frattier experiences of my life…
The Ivy Cup: a polo match between Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and Cornell.
Located on a remote farm in Greenwich, CT, this event is only for the frattiest of fratty. 3 open bars (wine and liq only) provide excellent networking opportunities, and the ability to consume plenty of booze without working up a hefty frat tab. Standard attire is pastel pants, driving mocs, polo shirts, navy blazers, vineyard vines ties….etc. The ample selection of sorostitutes is bar none, allowing for plenty of shacking selections….
hands down, frattiest event i have ever attended
My goodness, you are a bunch of self-absorbed losers. Or have I mistaken humorous attempts at braggadocio for reality?
Either way, you fail at life.
Oh, and polo is not a very exciting spectator sport. I had to sit through too many chukkas watching my girlfriend play.
Intelligent Person, kill yourself before I crush you with my wallet. Enjoy the X-Games…let me know how that one goes you fucking GDI tool. That’s pretty fucked up that your girlfriend plays polo, does she have an adam’s apple too? And might I congratulate you on your use of perhaps the gayest word I have ever heard “braggadocio”. That screams, “I wear a man purse, and live in a Starbucks.” Why don’t you write me a fucking poem you piece of douche. God you’re worthless.
For the record, this event was not a regular occasion for myself. I find a weekend of duck hunting, beer drinking, SEC football, and fucking Intelligent Person’s manly girlfriend in all holes just as fratty if not frattier.
I had a salesman at a Brooks Brothers in South Carolina ask me if I would teach him how to tie a bowtie as fast as I was doing in the store. I declined the douche’s request, drove my Frathoe back to the beach, went to the afternoon fratting hole, picked up a UT sorostitute, and did some quality shacking.
I think I just saw a post titled “how to frat hard in high school.” Wow. Somebody is going to have a fun time setting that kid straight.
yeahhh the funny thing about fratting in high school is you never have to be a pledge. have a fun freshman year wiping my ass…
on a lighter note, there are a few fratty moments i could share:
christmas party- 3 kegs, 2 coolers of pj, 600 jello shots, 15 handles of the classiest green label around, and naturally another 18 of smirnoff for the sorostitutes. and i guess i had a couple boxes of wine in the fridge for them as well…
10 a.m….start drinking bourbon (its a saturday, nothing special)
7 p.m. party begins. sorostitutes begin to arrive
9:30 p.m….sorostitute A gets too drunk. falls down. decides to go pass out in my bed. i have another 9 bourbon and waters to finish.
10:30 p.m….sorostitute B gets drunk, wants to go to bed. i send her to my brother’s room (he’s at his girlfriend’s place) because “some random trick passed out in my bed and won’t leave”
12:30 a.m….go to the bar. run up frat tab on shots.
2:15 a.m….go home with sorostitute
3:00 a.m. “realize i need to be up early” and get a ride home in sorostitute’s X5
3:15 a.m. take care of business in my room with sorostitute A
4 a.m. go upstairs, continue with sorostitute B
4:30 a.m. go back downstairs for round 2 and a little sleep
9 a.m. time for the hoodrats to leave, i need to start drinking. wake up both sorostitutes, ask myself if i have the balls to drive them both home at once, and naturally confirm this…deny shackwear to either for preservation of personal wardrobe…
(please note: the walk of shame would have obviously been administered, but the possibility of seeing a battle for shotgun in the fratmobile was just too good of a possibility)
since christmas is covered, let’s go with a fratty summer day:
9 a.m….wake up and crack at least 3 natties before sitting up in bed
10:a.m….shower if necessary, pack coolers and remove watermelon from fridge (already spiked from planning ahead the night before)
10:30 a.m….pick up sorostitutes, get the boat in the water, head to private island
7 p.m….realize that during the day of bocce ball and frat water, the tides have shifted, and if we were GDI’s and didn’t know how to drive a boat, we’ve be stuck
8 p.m….back downtown after 8 hours of solid drinking and fratting in the sun…nap time? nope, time to start up the frat tab.
…oh shit…that’s our life every day of the summer…
p.s., new frat word:
FRINKLE: (Noun) Also known as the Frat-Tinkle, this is the act of standing, typically on a beach, and realizing the water is too far away to piss out that natty you just shotgunned, so instead, why not piss your pants? your present company is 5 of the hottest sorostitutes you know. in no way does this mean you respect them enough to not piss yourself in their plain sight. so as they watch, you frinkle, and they respect you for it.
You people have no idea what things are truly like in this fratopia we call Austin and especially the palace of frat Buen Retiro!!!
Get em OUT!!!
i will first apologize for digressing from to true spirit of this forum and tampering with its fratmosphere, but there is an issue with the site that i feel must be addressed.
while i am pretty much in agreement with the very large majority of the fratty tips and explanations on the site, there is one word that i feel should be amended, if not stricken, from the frationary.
the issue of “bronzing” is one that i will agree is controversial. fratters nation (well, south, at least) wide know that going to the beach and doing other such outdoor activities are up at the top of frativities, and that a tan is typically an accepted result of such occasions. however, the act of “bronzing” is one that should never be voiced or considered by a true frat star. bronzing is something you take off your solid sheer color, point-collar, banana republic button down to do, while exposing your shaved chest and the abs you earned with endless hours in the gym.
i live the frat life at the beach on an extremely regular basis, but when going to the beach, there should not be consideration of one’s own “bronzing”. the beach is reserved for fishing, bocci ball, and walking around shirtless for no other reason than to make sorostitutes respect your fratwater belly that you worked so hard to earn.
in conclusion, being tan, or “bronze”, is a fratty thing to do, but only as a result of doing other fratty things. “bronzing” sounds too much like what gdi’s from michigan do on their spring break cruise to cancun. thanks for your time, that is all.
to that highschool kid…i believe you can dress fratty in higschool (u cant call it that though), but that kid has a rude awaking if he thinks he is fratting hard. first of and most importantly you cannot frat hard if your not in a fraternity. that should be enough said. id love to haze him.
i am at this small sorority party with frat water flowing from a keg. 330 am rolls around and i walk home with an ex girlfriend to have some fun, she then passes out so i throw back on the VV and rainbows along with the croakies of course. i go back to the party and find myself fighting a gdi for no apparent reason except he was dressed like a complete douchebag (cargos, jersey, and cocked hat) then i find myself waking up with a rather nice sorostitute (same sorority as the 1st girl and there neighbors), wondering where i was and with a bloody hand. come to find out i knocked out a different gdi that came over to see the second girl i slept with, she then proceded to invite me to shack.
one week later almost the exact same thing happened but it was a different sorority sister that lived in the same apt as the second girl.
another word to the highschool kid…i agree w/ triple shirt fratter, you will NOT call yourself or the way you act “fratty”. I believe when I was in highschool we were called “preppy”, that is permisable. You must earn your frat title through pledgeship. start out humble kid (if you dont your in for a suprise) and things will come to you, then you rock the hell out in the name of Fraternity.
I’ll throw up a testimonial too so my previous post won’t be deleted…enjoy
Some brothers and myself are fratcationing in Mexico in the summer of 05 (cancun to be specific), all of the usual debauchery going on of course; ripping whiskey shots, bumpin’ and grinding like a slow jam w/ randoms, and of course talking the occasional shit to your typical GDI, gel hair turbos you would see in Mexico from California or New York or God knows where.
So these particular GDIs are with some rather good looking from Tenn and being the gentleman that I am I feel its my duty to free the girls from their bondage of the new-age greasers and to make a long story short I successully infiltrate, steal, bring back to hotel, and pump in the sweet and salty water of the Gulf (yes i got checked soon thereafter) before being ambushed by a pack of hotel security guards pulling us out of the water saying its against hotel rules to be in the water after 10pm (not frat). Continued the dirty back in the room, gave her the boot in the morn, and embarked on another fratty adventure the next night.
Gents,
Would it be considered unfratty to rock the fraternal crest on the Tahoe? or should it be kept to letters
Normal Fall Frat Day-
1pm- Wake up hungover from previous night of Greek bar specials
2pm- Pick up a bottle of Jack along the way to hunting
8pm- Proceed to hang and clean deer outside of castle, while numerous sorostitutes, who are in awe of the true fratitude taking place, pile into the castle for pre-bar festivities, all while consuming much frat water
10pm-Clean up, throw on the sperry’s and hat and head to the bar
11pm- Scope on sorostitute who recognizes me from campus, she buys shots becuase she can’t get enough of the fratness I am expelling
1pm- Pledge picks us up from bar, take her to the room to have some night cap shots of bourbon, shacking at the castle ensues
11am- Wake up to see 14 inches of snow on ground, school is cancelled, she borrows Frat shirt and my tennies to walk home. I slam some frat water and head outside to go frat sledding and sling ice balls via large slingshot towards GDI dorms and douche-frats
10pm-
an unnamed sorostitute was doin the making her usual quest for cock up at the castle one friday night. i, unaware that she had got done banging one of the other brothers less than 10 minutes ago, took her up to my quarters. after we had finished having sex - sex that was walked in on by the previously mentioned brother - she was asked immediately to leave. i learned the next morning that she had shacked with the same guy as from earlier in this story, completing the triple whammy. it was an impressive fratdaddy performance but an even stronger play by the sorostitute.
not a very impressive fratdaddy performance at all. you porked some sorostitute right after your brother did. congrats on the sloppy seconds, and sloppy thirds for your brother
Showed up the first night of hell week after a long night of using dad’s gold AMEX at the bar. Saw a kid that I really did not want to be there. Without saying a word, open hand bitch slapped him, tore his pledge pin off his shirt and ate it. I don’t know if I ever shit it out….true story
Ok,among the many bumps of pledging was one of the frattastic moments of my life, After a wonderfull house party in which my pledge brothers and i had to “drive” one of us was cleaver enough to take a young baby sorostitute back to the dorm, where it became a late night of fun that quickly defined Fratt-star. Among the noise of zippers and “say my name’s” I hear from the girl, ” You like that? Now eat it Pledge” My heart stopped as the weirdness took over our dorm room. Then the quote of the year
” fuck you i saw you last week walking out of my Bigs room last night.”
On my que I awake from the bed three feet away, and open the door, and with out question the lovely sorostitute walks out with out a word.
for a frattastic evening might i recommend stocking a limo full of booze and women and enjoy a bar on wheels for several hours…then proceed to a hotel for some intense shacking followed by complimentary breakfast in the morning.
That is all, frat on.
Woke up one morning in the fratcastle next to a sorostitute. Sorostitute appraisal - 95. Treat myself to some fratwater. Have pledge drive me to Atlanta (from Athens) shack up with a GT sorostitute. Have same pledge drive me back to Athens. Pregame in the frat castle. Enjoy the company of a sorostitute inside a frat-closet. Go cheer on the team. Meet some other sorostitute. Continue to party post-game. Shack up with third sorostitute. That is what you call a frat-trick.
limo’s are for gdi’s wearing vests with their tuxes and hair gel. why not just ride around in a pledge’s z71 tahoe with dvd screens for that same 7 hours?
^ I concur. Or just drive yourself and stop being a pussy.
My most frattiest moment has to be at my formal fucking my date and getting a blow job from one of our springs date
What if you have orange hair and can’t “bronze?”
I was at a rush party discussing with an active my ability to assimilate into his house and discovering the glory of PA after time spent on active duty. I loved the house and brothers, and had the sense of belonging, but something was holding me back-some obstacle left to negotiate. While smoking and drinking with said brother on the side patio discussing the finer points of advanced aggressive foreign diplomacy and international human relations, a few brothers from a house with whom “our” house had been feuding with for some time decided to call “our” house a bunch of fags. Being the inquisitive creature I am I wanted to find out all the reasons he thought so, and what “my” house could ever do to hold up to his high standards. He was with two brothers and his mouth ran accordingly. Found out he was just full of shit and suggested that he applied his vigor and enthusiasm to either a woman or sports…anything else that did not include calling my new friends queer. I thought the situation was settled and turned my back to leave. He said “you’re pretty cool. too bad your mother’s a whore.” The straw that broke the donkey’s dick was laid and a 1-2 to the nose and jaw respectively sent his ass down while his brothers watched and my house’s active laughed. Picked him up, handed him to his bros, advised them to tell him not to talk shit about a Texas Military Man’s Mother, and joined the party. I was rewarded with bid from house and blow job from sorostitute who was turned on by stuff like that. The last obstacle was negotiated, and in time I would bleed purple and gold…
So one night, after a night of persistent frattabing, I brought a hot sorostitute back to the fratcastle for a night of frat water-induced shacking….
You all must be the biggest tools I have ever met. Reread your posts and prove otherwise.
And for the record, I’m a fratboy at an Ivy League school and am very “fratty.” However, I don’t feel the need to speak like a tool. Most of you are probably virgins.
yesterday:
12:30pm - wake up from alcohol induced coma from fratabbing on airplane trip back from exotic country
4pm - Beach. fratwater. hos. standard.
8pm - BBQ
10pm- start fratabbing at beach bar
12am - Realize that I must create my own fratosphere in the GDI ridden bar, get copiously drunk
1:50am- stumble out, drive fratmobile to strip club
2am - Berate owner of strip club for closing untill he offers to stay open later
3am - go to another strip club. i made it rain on dem hoes. hot vagina in my face = complete fratosphere
4:30am - get kicked out of strip club, as they closed at 4
4:45am - arrive at casino. Outrageous frattabbing on amex.
6am - too drunktageous for Casino, get escorted out by 6 security gaurds as well as head of security, ordered to never come back, placed in taxi
7am - woken up by sheriff on side of the road bench, talk my way out of jail
7:30am - wake up in field in between casion and 7-11. Head back into casino and demand fratmobile from valet, am denied because of current drunktageous state
7:45am - realize I lost amex, begin frattabbing on backup platinum card.
8:15am - Acura still not being released, continue berating staff, police threaten us with jail, again. Pick up security tail in casino. Continue frattabbing
9am - Fratmobile released, drive home to my island drunktageous
and lose a wad of cash, but i still have my koozie
koozies are like wrist watches, if you wake up after a drunkataneous night with one or the other still on your person… you kept it fratty.
Wow hazeballs…i believe every part of the story you wrote about. Goddamn you are my role model.
Seriously, stand blindfolded on a busy freeway.
Go play in traffic
You complehtely made that up to build e-fratter credibility. I agree with CoFCphrat, go play in traffic
Who makes up shit for “e-fratter credibility”? I need not exaggerate nor fabricate stories to make people I will never meet think highly of me. I am privileged to have a ridiculous life, and pity you for looking down upon me for that. I was merely trying to share a night in my life.
Furthermore, if you did know me, you would have absolutely no doubt that this happened to me, as I am privy to precarious situations.
Defending yourself on a message board…damn your expertise in the world of being amazing knows no end, does it?
hazeball your not in a frat….your prob in the 11th grade
We gave this douchebag a bid two semesters in a row, and balled him both just to knock him down a peg.He was our ball by example pledge and needless to say he got cut from rush the fallowing semester.
years ago…..
wake up from a heavy thursday night making sure not to alert the mary Baldwin girl you somehow ended up fucking that you are about to leave…
leave instructions for roomate at fratcastle to tell her you had to leave for “family matters”
make a 50/50 bloody mary…take a six foot bong rip…
ice down beer, pull out the scotch, two packs of marlboro lights and a can of ‘hagan
have pledge drive you and 7 others from Hampden-Sydney to Washington D.C. in the Ford Econoline..drink scotch and rip tubes the entire way
Get to the Dead show, proceed to purchase and injest as many recreational substances as possible, including bunk opium that makes you puke…
all the better….the stomach has been cleansed, and there ios more room for more alcohol
…talk shit to stray hippies looking for a new home
watch hippie chick get kicked “off tour” because her dog was too much for the group to “deal with”
start shotgunning beers…..
lose feeling in legs
tell pledge that he is personally responsible for making sure that you get into and out of the show…
black out
come to during space, can’t find anyone, start to buy beers for Sweetbriar girls next to you
get Sweetbriar girls high
find friends in beer line, introduce to Sweetbriar girls….
show ends, proceed to get invited to a party..you forgot to ask where it was
get in van with Sweetbriar girls, tell pledge to drive where instructed…buffet an 8 ball..
end up at huge field/bonfire party at large house somewhere outside Charlotesville, Va….
start drinking massive quantities of Virginia Gentleman with random people…
lose friends…meet sweetbriar girls (again)…..
find a tank…become friends with “tank guy”..enough so that he ends up taking a personal check
wake up the next morning on a blanket..only in boxers..next to one of the Sweetbriar girls….her top is off
she wakes up, says thanks, and y’all share her last cigarette..
she then gets up, walks ten feet away, and kicks some guy uva guy passed out next to a car, calling him an asshole..
take a beer from a random cooler, find crew, head back to Hampden-Sydney….
after breaking up with my girlfriend, I deemed it necessary to hit on all of her sorositutes. I find the president of her sorority and bang the hell out of her. If thats not fratty, what is?
Ok, so a couple of my fratty colleagues and I were enjoying some fine aged single malt and some good Cubanos at one of our favored late night speakeasies. It’s the best solution after a crunching in the hours at my downtown high-rise office which overlooks the Texas capitol where I frequently fin myself. You could say we all raised the bar for all the young fratties still bs’ing their way through that experience called college. One of my compadres, who is a district attorney, leaned over and suggested I post some of my frat day stories onto this website. I figured why the fuck not, so here goes…
Friday before spring break my junior year. I woke up to the most agonizing alarm known to human civilization wondering why the fuck I set it. Must have been black out wasted, because there’s no way I was going to class that day. I felt like I was beat upside the head with a ball ping hammer, so I reached over and popped a handful of pain killers followed by a half drunken Fratstone Light from the night before. I tuned to sport center to see what was brewing for March Madness. As I noticed it was a fantastic day to be outside I said fuck sports center, I could catch all the updates on my Blackberry. So I threw on my frat gear, grabbed my putter and wedges and headed out the door.
Woke up a couple of my pledge brothers and decided to go play pitch and put down by the lake. We all had a nice surprise as I opened up the doors to my Rover to be hit by a wall of odor you only find the next morning after your late night at the frat castle. All you young fratties know exactly what I’m talking about.
On the way we decided to start our first bar tab (as we have multiple going on at any given time) at our local frat bar before the clock ever hit noon. A couple Jaeger bombs and some bloody maries, we were ready to roll.
When we showed up at pitch-and-put, we got stuck behind some douchebaggery hippies hacking it up all over the already beaten par 3 course. So you can imagine what happened there…it got to the point where we went from hitting balls into them to hitting crushed Fratstone Light cans at em. They called us all the regular anti greek/republican slanders that a typical GDI would, but fuck em, they were not worth our time.
I said the hell with that, rounded up some sororstitutes with the two way and had them meet us at the boat docks with some food, smokes and extra liquid treats. We spent the rest of the day on the lake listening to Marley and eating shit trying to wakeboard all liquored up.
As I was docking my boat up I called some pledges to prep the grill and pick our drunk asses up. On the way home, I was generous enough to give my little bro my dad’s Amex to grab us beer and food for the evening. We grilled up a storm and had the pledges entertain us in preparation for the night’s debauchery.
Bellies full of beer and bbq, showered up and dressed in our frattiest fines it was time to kick off the night. That meant going to the bars to pre drink, but not before our ritual with the pledges in the basement….yall know what that means. Anywho, a couple of tabs later and random run ins with drunken sororstitutes, it was time to return to the latenight at the frat castle.
This is when things started to get very interesting and a bit hazy. Being the arrogant fratty assholes that we were, we first tended to business before pleasure…ridding the late night of all the GDI’s who slipped through the front door…I always took pleasure in that. The concert was starting up so it was time to shotgun some frat water and do what us fratties do…find our sororstitutes. The concert got wild, beer started flying through the air, drenching our sports coats and sperrys to give us that most intriguing aroma.
It was time to call it a night, so I did the proper act of inviting a couple of sororstitutes up to my room for an after party with a bong and minimal clothing. Well you know where that went.
I woke up the next morning to that same agonizing alarm clock wondering why I set it only to realize I had an international plane to catch to Switzerland for a week of skiing in the Alps. Gave the passed out sororstitute in my bed some cab money, grabbed my bags and a pledge to drive me to the terminals and ran out the door. My hangover was quickly relieved by the mimosas and bloody marries served by the long legged blonde former sororstitute in first class on Swiss Air. Oh what a life…Never stop living!
Wow…jagerbombs, pitch and putt, and wakeboarding all in the same day?!…TFM!!!!!
koozy or huggie? the question has been bothering me for some time now.
I assume you mean koozIE.
I got aressted outside of a bar for public intoxication…they place me in the patrol car and i was able to reach my phone and call my frat brothers and share a good laugh…very fratty moment in my life…frat me down!!
One of my frattiest weekends came actually as a graduate upon my return to Texas Tech for the A&M game. Upon arriving I was immediately taken to waynes to purchase kegs and we got some afternoon bottles of whiskey. Proceeded to get smashed, then went to big frat concert known as Kalf Fry where the cops told me I was too drunk and I couldn’t drink more, of course I’m above the law. Wound up going home with some dirtleg and don’t remember after that. When I woke up in her place I thought she was a girl from austin that I had nailed on a previous occasion, she wasn’t and was pretty pissed that I called her the wrong name. Next was the creepiest experience of my life, I proceeded to head into the kitchen in hopes of finding something to drink. There standing at the sink is her mom, in town for the weekend. I don’t know what you do in that situation but I just went straight for the fridge for a fratfreshment, a cold natty light. I next made dirtleg deliver me back to my pledge bros house where we proceeded to begin drinking whiskey in a 9 am pre tailgate party. Never made it to the game, just went to the bar. Got so drunk I passed out on the campus like a gdi taking a nap after a hard afternoon of frizbee. Woke up and proceeded back to pre party for the lodge party that night. Wound up slammin a sorostitute behind the captains house at the golf course (sick frat pad) on the number one tee box. Finished that, hit the lodge, got drunker, walked home with pledge bro. Walked by ex girlfriends house and drunk tackled her mail box. Then decided we’d watch the sun come up on a neighboring yard. fell asleep in the yard and awoke at sunrise by the law. they called a cab for us and we rode home in style.
In addition to that other fratty highlights are: running over a golf cart with my land rover, telling a cop that I was 21 and that means I’m old enough to drink and drive, raw doggin my ex pi phi behind the a d pi house on the porch, I bet those porkers were jealous. walkin through the drive through at josies pretending I was driving my invisible car, knowing the code to get into the zeta lodge, hazing hazing and more hazing, taking a pledge to drive me…to florida, tellin a sorostitiute that I’m a pilot and I drive a land rover and shes not gonna get too many chances to have a guy like me, the list goes on.
Fratting does not stop at graduation, it if a lifelong event. Now a days, I use the skills I honed on the sorostitutes to bag flight attendants and random bar cougers.
I just got out in may and I wouldn’t mind going ahead and starting over so I could do it again.
Woke up on a couch hung over balls at these g phi’s house(not sorority house) to my buddy and his on and off again girl arguing. At this point it was 8 a.m, and he had already started planning the day. We hit a nice brunch, discussed events of night previous and licked our wounds. 9:30 got cleaned up grabbed a 30 of fratty light, and headed to the cigar bar to grab a couple of cohiba’s. Hit the golf course at 10:15 start drinking a beer a hole. By the sixth hole, we were obliterated and proceeded to light our stogies, 9th hole we get kicked off the course for public urinating. 12:00 head to have lunch with my pledge bro’s girl and mom who flew in from out of town that morning, proceeded to drink copious amounts of frat water, all on the moms tab. Head to our pledge brother’s house for a rare herbal refreshment cuz it was 420. We then hit the daytime Greek Bar enebriated and take in all of the exquisit sorostitue ass. 6:00 head to a different pledge brother’s to bbq and continue beveraging. After that a co-ed beer pong tournament ensued, and I kicked ass. Headed to the Greek Bar but couldn’t control myself took myKKG partner back to my place and made sweet love to my Marvin Gaye vinyl. Frat life is good.
p.s. I think my ponctuation skills were lost en route to achieving my Finance degree.
Me and smoking hot girlfriend were fratting a little to hard in her sorostitute bed and we broke it, completely. We obviously continued on the teeter-tottoring bed. We go to see how much a new one cost, only 1500 her old man forked out earlier in the semester. Yes, he used to be a fratdaddy too. We got a free bed at the furniture store 1. Because we both scream frat. 2. My girlfriend is fuckin hot and gets what she wants.
Fratty Testimonial-2
At the recent bowl game in atlanta, my gf came to shak with me at my and my fellow frat daddys pad. After shaking the night away, i woke up, called the cab service, and she made the walk from the red roof inn in dt atlanta to the cab and was on her way back to buckhead. And i know what your thinking, the answer is no i did not pay for it. TFM
Four days in the life of a a brother and I:
Day 1: A brother from another town decides to visit my home during the winter break. He and I sit outside a bar and drink because we don’t think that we’ll be served. We go in and are asked if we need glasses. Proceed to drink on the 25 minute drive home. At my house we drink more beer and screwdrivers. Blackout.
Day 2: We drink casually all day at an older brother’s house who lives near me, while shooting and sledding behind a truck in a field. At night, we go straight to the bar and get hammer drunk. Proceed to drive to Lexington to get tacos. The morning after this is the only morning we wake up sober.
Day 3: We decided to visit the brother’s aforementioned brother’s home in Omaha. The first night him/me/and another pledge bro from omaha split a handle of the worst whiskey ever made in his basement. Blackout.
Day 4: him/me/and a different brother split a handle of Gin. We started drinking at the movie we went to then came back to his basement and Blacked out.
Day 5: It was New Year’s eve, what do you think happened?
In the warmer months of school, myself and some fellow fratdaddys would head out to the nearby lake every Sunday at about noon, and gear up 3 cases of Frat Water and the finest looking Sorostitutes onto one of my brother’s boat.
Its not one of the largest boats on the water, so there was never too many of us. And all day long we would just listen to country on the boat, and use life jackets as floating chairs while taking in some good ol frat water until the sun would set. head back to the frat castle and begin the party
I just want you guys to know how big of douchebags and GDI’s you sound like. You are unable to write a coherent sentence. You are all making up stories to make yourself sound fratty. True fratty people dont need to brag and boast to make themselves feel better. STOP being GDI’s and really learn how to frat.
Great posts thus far my fratty friends.
I was recently elected as the head of my fratmosphere (president) and have been blessed with some of the frattiest brothers in all of the land.
Friday–6:25 PM:
Pregame at the personal frat castle including bbq, washers, horseshoes, frat water, and commonly told GDI jokes. Our pledge educator for the semster pulls me aside from my corn on the cob to tell me that pledges have a suprise for me this evening.
That Night–2:05 am
While leaving the greek oriented alcohol intake center for upperclass students (bar) with a personally favored sorostitue, I have to wait over 2 minutes for a pledge taxi to show up to transport the lovely lady as well as myself to the house where we may retire for the evening.
This infuriates me.
The lady and myself both sit in the back seat as I make sure to sit behind the pledge driving. The whole way home i precede to whisper that he will not be initiated as a member of my fraternity and that his balls are going to be hazed off as soon as possible. I think i witnessed him begin to cry at one point.
This makes my frat cool succeed even more.
We make it home as I open the door for the lady and I to exit and whisper in the driver’s side window that he may “go fuck himself now”. I notice that he does not leave as I walk into my humble abode and find this odd, but am ready to do the frattiest dance of all between the Polo sheets. I walk into my room and notice that there is 15 of our 32 pledges standing there smirking.
Anger, severe anger….
I then notice that there is 3 lovely sorostites laying in lingerie on my bed.
Anger subsiding now.
The 15 kissasses leave and the original sorostitute follows.
She has anger. Very intense anger…
I escort all of them out and lock the door so I may accompany my new guests back in my room….
Saturday–11:34 am:
Roll over to see me Blackberry nearly vibrating off the nightstand and slowly recall events from the previously evening. The ladies and i are in a tightly-nit frat/sorostitue web as they begin to stur as well. The morning goes on and they leave after a short while. On the way out, the last of the three stops me and says” I just thought i should tell you, im not in a sorority. Are you mad?” Somehow i kept from killing her on the spot, smiled, and said no, as i slammed the door behind her.
I have never treated a group of pledges as bad as i did that evening for the GDI slu they contaminated my otherwise pure world with…
I was getting it on with a sorostitute one night WHILE she still had her Sperry’s on.
For those in the Atlanta Area:
A fratty experience not to be overlooked is the Atlanta Steeple Chase every April. Fratty attire, beautiful sorostitutes, kegs and open bars highlight this horse race for the wealthy.
After pounding a few gamedays (Jack with a splash coke), I found myself over to cash bar, where a sorostitute I had just met posed as newly weds to get a free bottle of wine. As Fratlife would have it, both of us would end the night satisfied.
Post-Grad Fratting story: I start new fratty job, see co-worker wearing seersucker pants and a perlis polo shirt. I comment on the pants moments later he sends email of yacht racing results with the subject “FRAT.”
frattiest moment of my life:
Initiation had just passed, about a month before, and I was out at a club with my big brother, poppin bottles with the little cash i had in my wallet, obviously wasted. I proceeded to walk away from the table we had, and make my way over to the bar. I see a brother working the bar, and get some free shots from him ..and a girl walks up behind me. she’s a sorority girl, horny and drunk as fuck, and whispered something in my ear to get me to leave with her…….My brother sees this and hits us up with 2 more shots, for the road. One thing led to another, and I was making out with her, still at the bar. her friend comes over and decides that they want to leave, and I thought it would be harmless to leave with them, get back to campus and make my way back to my room after my business was taken care of. She doesnt want to leave for some reason and instead decides to pull her friend in for a 3 way kiss. At this point i’m totally into it and ready to take down 2 broads, but the friend ends up getting sick, so im a gentleman and decide to help out, on my way to getting some with the original. After driving in a limo with an entire sorority 45 minutes to a neighboring school, i realize im not getting back to campus tonight, and hope for the best. I help put the friend to bed, and proceed to the bathroom for the shower with my target. I’m hooking up in the shower when the door opens, and a sister walks in, asking whats going on. long story short from there, because i dont want to bore you all with the details, i had a 3sum in a shower, caused the entire bathroom to get flooded because one girl was sitting on the drain…and get kicked out of the house at 6 in the morning only to be picked up by my somehow-awake brother in order for me to make my 8:30 the next morning!!
So many problems with the story above, but my brother and I pulled off a six rounder in cricket the other day, that’s all.
Keeneland. Enough said. Screw the Atlanta Steeplechase & the retirement mules they run out there….come see the finest thoroughbreds & women in the South at Keeneland (preferably opening weekend Saturday or the 2nd Saturday). Spring meet starts the 1st Friday in April & continues up to the frattiest event on this universe, the KY Derby. If your looking for a roadtrip, do yourself a favor. Horse & Bourbon country…Lexington KY
Where can I get a pair of southern proper croakies? They are not on the website.
Greatest night of my life:
We had a date party before the fraternity boxing tournament, at which i got hammered. We all left the fratcastle and proceeded to the boxing tournament at which i enjoyed all the airplane bottles i had smuggled in. I got back to the fratcastle and fucked my date in an unoccupied room. After that i gave my girlfriend a call fucked her brains out, then called another one of my sorrostitute fuckbuddies and stuck it in her also thus completing the hat trick.
Burt, rileysclothing.com sells SP croaks; you have to call in your order, and shipping is free
me and three other brothers got an 8 ball and started some pregame drinking. after 4 or 5 beers started blowing down hard as hell hittin rails left and right then continued drinking. since there was a band party we went up there with the last case of the day and the rest of the 8 ball. from here on out it gets really blurry but i wake up in the tv room at the house with an empty baggy in my pocket and no beer to be found.
As “The Real Fratternity Brother” already said, it is not fratty to boast about yourself. But is fratty to tell/listen to stories of others in FratLand. The frattiest and greatest stories ever have to be those that involve the LEGENDARY Billy Boy Fratliff. No one can beat his Legendry. Anyone have any good stories about The Man, The Myth, The Legend that is Billy Boy Fratliff? “Long Live Uncle Billy Fratliff!!!”
I’ve got one for you. It didn’t matter who’s house he was at, Billy Fratliff was always the frattiest guy there. If Fratliff was there, it meant your party was just that much frattier. A buddy of mine once found Fratliff fucking his girlfriend. My buddy said he just stood there in shock watching his smoking hot girlfriend get railed by Fratliff. His girlfriend wouldn’t let it stop and Fratliff just laughed and pounded away at this bitch. He said that after about 20 minutes and several innovative positions my buddy had never even heard of before, Fratliff finished blowing his load all over her DD’s. Then as Ratliff pulled up his pants, the bitch began hungrily licking all of Fratliff’s man juice off her tits and moaning as she did so. Billy Boy Fratliff laughed and then punched my buddy in the face, and walked out having never spoken a word throughout the whole thing. He left my buddy’s girlfriend thanking him and begging and crying for more. She told my buddy that it was the most incredible sex she had ever had and “the most amazing and unimagineably exciting experience anyone could ever have.” Ever since then my buddy has loved Fratliff and will run through a crowd just to shake the hand of the Man they call Uncle Billy Fratliff.
P.S. Doug Neidermeyer, you need to have a page or thread dedicated strictly to Billy Fratliff like the old “Fratty.com” had when it was in its prime, before it went down.
It’s fratty.net. Idiot.
TX SleepAndEat may have gotten the “Fratty.com vs. Fratty.net” thing wrong, but he was dead on about Billy Boy Fratliff.
One time Fratliff scaled the University of Texas Tower like King Kong, except Ratliff was carrying 2 hot young ladies with him. Once on top of the Tower, he fucked both of them rotten. One of the sorostitutes said that at one point, she was on her knees blowing him while Fratliff stood in a “Horns Brace” and held the other bitch above his head ate her pussy until she screamed so loud that it made the Tower bells ring. Some say the orgasmic scream and ringing bells were so loud that folks all the way in Dallas heard them and had orgasms. After an hour of fratty moves like that one, the girls past out from exhaustion and over stimulation, Fratliff shotgunned a six-pack, and climbed back down the Tower and carried the sorostitutes back to their respective panahellenic brothels. Long Live Uncle Billy Fratliff!!!
We Do the Jump. The Frattiest Initiation routine ever known to man. You can’t beat it. We are legends.
To add a sorostitute voice to the frattiness:
Started the day off at a recruitment workshop.
Ended mid-afternoon, put on my swimsuit, cover up, and big floppy hat for margaritas and beer at the pool with fellow sorostitutes and fratdaddies.
got sufficently drunktaneous.
got pledge taxi to drive us to band party on the beach, headlined by a band consisting of fratdaddies covering classic rock songs.
shacked at the frat castle with my fratdaddy
woke up the next morning still in swimsuit and coverup
got out of bed and put my big floppy hat back on
went outside for an afternoon of grilling, beer pong, and koob
Lovely
For spring break me accompanied by several pledge brothers journeyed to Panama city, a worthy destination for wasting ungodly amounts of parents money. Upon waking up from my 10 am nap and realizing I am still slammed from the car ride down I decide it is in my best interest to begin drinking on the 8 30 packs of key that we got for the first day. by 6 in the afternoon we decide it is time to head to Margaritaville for a bite to eat, the wait is long, I order a rita. I am informed that we have another hour wait, so I have myself another 2 rita’s. Once recieving our table I order a 4th rita as the case I had earlier in the day has begun to lose its effect of impairing my judgement. At the end of the meal the waiter arrives with an $80 tab consisting of a small dish and $70 worth of rita’s, I promptly inform the waitor that the ticket is wrong, and he can get fucked. He informs me I need to pay and leave, I take this as a choice between options, and take the one that includes leaving without paying. In my state I get lost in the parking lot so decide a walk would do well and begin in the direction i assume is correct, I soon find out I am wrong and being chase by a homeless man. Once I stop running I realize that I am lost and under a lone light at an abandoned target with nothing in site. My directions to my fellow fratdaddies of being next to the store by the store are insufficent for them to pick me up, I decide informing the police of my situation is the best course of action, the Inform me that they are not a taxi service, I explain that I was confused because I thought this was America, they hang up. I begin walking down the highway when an officer arrives, I assume he is helping me, but am immieditly tipped off by the fact that help does not include being in the back of the car in handcuffs. Upon arriving in my holding cell and having my pockets emptied for me my ID is taken, yet both fakes I am allowed to keep. And my letter Coosie is not allowed to be in my mug shot consisting of me in a pink BB oxford, Maui’s and croak’s and PFG’s. I leave and recieve a ride from a random fratstar that was at the gas station at 5 am from auburn. return to my room and go to sleep without saying a word to the assortment of sorostitutes and fratdaddies in the room.
so here’s one of our the many frattastic weekends thanks to the wonderfulness that is fraternity philanthropies.
4:00pm get home from internship. call up fellow sorostitute for dinner.
6:00pm get back from dinner. toss the pigskin in the front yard with the SAE’s for a while.
7:00pm Proceed to another sorostitute’s apartment for smoking sesh and guitar hero jam out.
9:00pm Get hit up by fratdaddies to come over to the fratcastle.
9:15pm Head over with fellow sorostitutes to fratcastle for an entertaining evening of frat water drinking via beer pong tourney and landmine. Unfortunately this sorostitute cannot spin a coin for the life of her and ends up consuming copious amounts of frat water.
1:00am Make it upstairs with a fratdaddy for a lovely night of shacking.
10:00am Get a ride home because I’m classy like that to change and get ready for SAE Pigskin.
10:30am Captains show up to pick us up and we begin heavily consuming mimosas and faderade.
12:30pm Pack up 2 huge containers of OJ & Vodka and 2 XL things of Gatorade & Vodka for the walk to the field.
12:45pm Arrive at field. All beverages cashed.
1:00pm Team of sorostitutes wins award for drunkest team there while at the same time taking last place in the tourney due to our highly inebriated state.
2:00pm Head over to another fratcastle for a keg off where the fratdaddies have specially provided my house of sorostitutes with our very own keg.
3:00pm As expected the fratdaddies beat us. So we packed up the kegs in the Navigator and head to volleyball field for a beach volleyball day.
3:15pm Find grocery carts to wheel kegs from parking lot to court where we proceed to cash them.
5:15pm Pile back in the Navvy to the fratcastle, order pizzas, take a nap, and get ready for the night.
9:00pm the pregaming begins and the usual insanity follows.
After a swap with Phi Mu I brought a sorostitute back with me to the fratcastle.
I then showed all of the pledges how to do work on a frat potato from behind. They took video footage of it.
Her sisters found out about the video and when they saw it–threw her out of her Phi Mu.
Her walk-of-shame was everyday because she became “that girl.” I think she ended up leaving the university, haha.
So I just watched “A Thomas Crown Affair” for the first time last night. It was by far one of the frattiest movies that I have ever seen!
The main character, Thomas Crown, is the perfect example to follow when looking at the post grad fratty lif