Fratty Countdown: TV Shows - #3

Sportscenter

You come in from a day at the lake, you plop down on your couch, you flip on your 42 inch flatscreen, and it’s time to pick a channel.  What’s the first channel you surf to?  9 out of 10 fratdaddies will answer this question, "ESPN." 

The fratdaddy prides himself on having wide knowledge of a variety of different sports, especially college football, the NFL, and MLB (and, if there was absolutely nothing else to bet on that day, the WNBA).  There’s simply no better source for the previous day’s scores, highlights, and lowlights as ESPN’s flagship, Sportscenter.  If TV viewing was a diet, Sportscenter is the fratdaddy’s staple food.  It is to your television as cheap beer is to a rush party, bourbon is to a tailgate, and the triple bacon Whopper is to the Plan X.  Just as the GDI gets his most vital daily information from the G4 channel, the fratdaddy gets his from Sportscenter.

It’s on when you wake up in the morning.  If you don’t wake up for morning, it’s on in the afternoon.  If you don’t wake up for the afternoon, it’s still on at night.  If you watched it, but you were too drunktaneous to remember if you covered or not, don’t worry…the same show’s coming on again. 

Let’s not discount the frattiness of working at ESPN, either.  A Sportscenter anchor gets paid for wearing a designer suit, talking about sports, and often making witty remarks about athletes at times of great embarrassment and failure.  More than one fratdaddy has chosen this line of work as their way to maximize post-grad fratting potential (Trey Wingo, Phi Delta Theta, Baylor University; Scott Van Pelt, Pi Kappa Alpha, University of Maryland; Rich Eisen, Pi Kappa Phi, University of Michigan; Dan Patrick, Phi Sigma Kappa, University of Dayton).

We’d talk about it some more, but Sportscenter is coming on.