There are not many accessories that have a place in the fratdaddy’s wardrobe: a watch and occasionally a hat are, in fact, the only appropriate additions to every day casual fratwear. However, there is one more accessory that is beyond appropriate. It is, we believe, absolutely vital to any self-respecting fratdaddy’s repertoire…the fratty sunglasses.
The first issue we will address is when sunglasses are appropriate in everyday wear. This is governed by the “Rule of Natural Light” (no, not the fratwater). If there is any naturally produced light source outside that could possibly make you squint, you can put on your sunglasses. Frat doesn’t take a day off because it’s partially cloudy.
We will next address exceptions to the rule of acceptable sunglasses wear. There are some situations where, although normally permitted, sunglasses should not be worn. Note: this doesn’t mean they can’t be worn OUTSIDE on the way to these events; it simply means they should be taken off one’s visible person and placed in a jacket or pants pocket for simple reasons of respect. These situations include: church, funerals, weddings, and certain meetings where the dress is business professional. Again, this is a simple matter of class, and sticking the sunglasses in your pocket for this brief time will not negatively affect your fratitude at all.
So, what brand of sunglasses should you buy? The most popular choice in the frat community right now is undeniably Costa Del Mar. We have had some concerns by some readers about certain douchebags also wearing this brand. However, we need to stress: we as fratdaddies cannot simply roll over and give up frat staple brands just because a limited number of douchebags have tried to ride our coattails to correct fashion. We will address this in a post shortly. Obviously, many of our readers agree, as Costas beat out 32 other combatants for the title of the Frat Madness Tournament Champion. With this strong display of frat power, we do not hesitate to suggest Costas for any fratdaddy or sorostitute. Ray Bans have also long been a popular choice amidst the frat community, and they remain so to this day.
For sorostitutes, another prime sunglasses choice is Coco Chanel. They’re a bit more formal than sportier styles like Costas, and are appropriate for any situation that adheres to the rules above.
As you already know via the Frat Madness Tournament, croakies are an essential complement to your choice of fratty sunglasses. Croakies come in many shapes and styles, most of which are acceptable. Any pair of Costa Del Mar’s or Croakies (the actual brand) will suffice. Also, Vineyard Vines and Southern Proper are recent additions to the croakie universe, and both should gain your consideration. There are two fratty attire pitfalls we have recognized that can drop your fratitude several notches. The first pitfall is wearing camouflaged croakies. These should only be around your neck when the rest of your body requires camouflage as well. The second pitfall is wearing croakies containing university colors and/or logos. As you already know (http://frattinghard.com/fratty-wordphrase-of-the-week-19/), these are only appropriate if they satisfy the gameday exception.
One last point we wish to address is the issue of sunglasses at night. You may have seen fratdaddies in bars or restaurants with their sunglasses sitting on their neck after the sun has gone down. We are not here to require, nor condemn, this fashion statement. Often, it is a simple matter of convenience. One may be busy before going out, and lack an opportunity to put their sunglasses away. More often, we find it very easy to simply forget that we’ve got on an accessory that we wear everyday. Either way, it is perfectly acceptable to flip your sunglasses around and put them on your neck when the sun has gone down. There is no requirement for completely taking them off and putting them away. However, you should never make it a point to do this on purpose. As we said, it is acceptable, but not necessary. Also, try not to be that guy that puts his sunglasses on in the bar after a few fratwaters. If you do it once to be funny, no harm done. If you do it every Friday night, realize that you are not in Hollywood and leave them at home if you don’t trust your own ability to keep them off your face. Of course, flipping your sunglasses around during the day when you enter a building is always acceptable in any situation that doesn’t meet one of the exceptions noted above.
In conclusion, it cannot be stressed enough that sunglasses are an absolutely vital part of the fratty wardrobe. The slight effort it takes to abide by the rules laid out in this lesson can help make a huge deposition in your frat account. It can cause your frat gland to stand up after a long night of fratting and starting pumping out fratosterone just as it was the night before. Wear them proud, and frat them hard.
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