Fratting 101: Problems in Advanced Shacking, Part II (Lesson #18)

In our first Problems in Advance Shacking lecture, we looked at the different classes of shackers, as well as the tried and true rating system by which all shackers are classified.  Moving on, we will now proceed to specific problems that you may encounter during the shacking process, and will examine the possible solutions to these difficult situations.

Thinning the Herd

Think, if you will, of one of those shows on the Animal Channel that shows a lion stalking a herd of gazelles, picking out the sick, weak one, and then then pouncing on it after it has been singled out.  This is analogous to taking home a Plan A that is at the bar with a large group of her sorority sisters, with one exception:  instead of picking out the gazelle with three legs, you’re trying to pick off the pick of the litter.  The problem here is complex.  First of all, many sorostitutes, when in such a group, don’t want to be labeled as the one that ended up going home with a fratdaddy.  This may draw her some condemnation from the rest of the group, especially if they are unsuccessful in finding a fratdaddy of their own.  Even more troublesome is the propensity of some sorostitutes to make a pre-bar agreement to “go together, leave together.”  Although this is a problem, it can be overcome. 

The key to this problem is to send the “herd” running in separate directions.  While your Plan A may be hesitant to leave the bar with you to go straight to the frat castle, she will be more receptive to leave with you to go to another bar.  When this method is applied, the group will often thin, if not evaporate entirely.  Her sisters will not be able to tell her that she shouldn’t move on to another bar without sounding like GDI’s, and she will have a proper excuse for no longer being with the larger group.  After a short stint at bar #2, the evening’s shacking activities can commence.  We recommend the execution of this method at such a time in the evening where bar #2 will be closing shortly after you get there, thus avoiding the need to entertain your choice by yourself for an extended period of time. 

The Albatross

As much as a problem as a group of sorostitutes can be, they are not nearly as dangerous to your efforts as the young lady known as “The Albatross.”  This is the sister who routinely fails to secure a fratdaddy at the bar and is going back to the sorority house…and she wants to take your Plan A with her.  She insists on your sorostitute coming along to drive her back, or or even worse, insists on you driving BOTH of them back, at which point she will do all she can to ensure that you pull away from the sorority house alone (the worst of these will expect you to take them through the Taco Bell drive-through on the way back…which is indicative of why they often fail to be a Plan A themselves). 

The ideal way to deal with The Albatross is to have that very special pledge brother with you who is always willing to fall on the grenade.  This is often the guy who, within an hour of arriving, is so drunktaneous that, to him, every albatross looks like a swan.  If you are able to pawn off your problem sorostitute on this noble hero, then you will have clear sailing with your choice of the night.

If this is not an option, your best bet is to ensure that you are never dealt out of the hand; if she wants a ride back, you drive.  When you drop them her off, make sure you have a ready excuse for why your sorostitute cannot leave yet.  This could be that you’re going back out, going to get food, or some other seemingly valid reason to extend the evening.  Remember:  if you have done your job as a quality fratdaddy, the sorostitute will WANT to stay with you, and will assist you in disposing of your “problem.”

The Blast From the Past

This is a problem that you want to have:  upon entering the bar, you see your Plan B from last week.  She wasn’t a bad choice, but you know that you can frat harder, and soon you have all but secured your evening’s Plan A.  But wait…Plan B has spotted you, and is coming back for more.  The problem is obvious:  having another girl doing her best to earn your attention may sincerely hinder your efforts at sealing the deal with the sorostitute you really want to be with.

While you don’t want to show too much attention to Old News, you don’t want to burn that bridge, either.  The best course of action is to speak only if spoken to, and always have a ready excuse for why you can’t hang around to chat.  Use other people you know in the bar as a reason to move away from the Plan B when needed, and pay special attention to focusing the brunt of your efforts on the Plan A to ensure that she does not feel neglected.

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