Whether you’re a pledge, an active, or an experienced post-grad fratter, every fratdaddy needs an ample collection of fratty neckties. During your undergraduate days, they are a key part of your cocktail, formal, and gameday attire. As a successful businessman, you may need to wear one to the office almost every day. However, like other parts of fratty attire, there are some do’s and don’ts that must be heeded to ensure that this small strip of fabric accentuates, and does not destroy, your formal fratitude. We will explore three categories of ties: classics, regionals, and those to be avoided at all costs.
Classics
Above is pictured selections from Ben Silver (left) and Brooks Brothers (right). These classic diagonal striped ties are the base of the fratty tie foundation, and have been for time immemorial. In fact, our records here at the Institute of Fratology (which stretch back well before any of our births) do not even go back far enough to see exactly how long the diagonal striped die has been sported by fratdaddies. Their conservative design and ample color combinations can match practically any high end suit. Simply put, as long as you don’t choose such a tie that is bright silver with purple stripes (which you will have no trouble with if you stick to the better traditional fratdaddy clothiers), it’s hard to go wrong with this selection.
These ties can be worn on almost any occasion, including, but not limited to, gameday, job interviews, to the office, formals, cocktails, weddings, funerals, church, and post-election galas.
Regionals
These are a more recent addition to the fratty attire landscape, but have quickly found a place on the tie racks of many fratdaddies across the country. Pictured above are two good examples of selections from regional tie makers: Southern Proper (out of Atlanta) and Nola Couture (out of New Orleans). With football season almost upon us, we would be remiss not to mention Southern Proper’s collection of gameday ties featuring conservative prints representing individual college mascots.
However, gameday is not the only time these ties can be worn. In fact, these ties are acceptable at any undergrad event or less formal post-grad event. We would forego wearing these ties to a job interview; however, once you land a place at your job of course, they’re great for pumping up the fratmosphere of your office on a Friday. They should never force the classics out of your collection, but should help to create a well-rounded necktie arsenal. Needless to say, regional ties are also a great way of showing the world that you’re proud of where you came from.
Ties of Terror
Unfortunately, there are many neckties on the market which have absolutely no business in any fratdaddy’s closet. Take for example, the Jerry Garcia Collection ties pictured below.
Even if you are a huge fan of the Grateful Dead, they belong in your CD player and not around your throat. You should never wear a tie that looks like someone threw up on it before you even get to a function where someone may possibly throw up on it. Also forbidden are any “novelty ties”, such as the Tabasco Hot Sauce variety pictured below.
As a fratdaddy, you should constantly tailor your outfit to exude class and confidence. Wearing the free tie that came packaged with your bottle of hot sauce does neither. No fratdaddy should look like a walking billboard. Finally, we present a tie that is a perfect example of two fratty faux pas: the seasonal tie that also features a freakin’ cartoon character.
Believe us friends, your Professors of Fratology do not post this picture in jest; we’ve actually seen people wear these ties in fratty situations. Needless to say, we were almost overcome by the black hole of negative fratitude that enveloped the room. First of all, beyond ties that you get specifically for gameday, seasonal ties are not acceptable. If you want to get in the Christmas spirit at your Christmas cocktail, send up a toast to St. Nick with your glass of Glenlivet on the rocks. Leave the tie with a picture of Rudolph at home. Actually, such a monstrosity should not even be at your home. As for the cartoon character, if we have to explain this to you, realize that you’re having a mid-frat crisis and go back and study Fratting 101: Lessons 1-13.
We hope this lesson will be of help to you the next time you make a necktie purpose. This part of the fratdaddy’s attire may seem insignificant to some, but in fact it is a vital part of the overall fratty wardrobe. Stock up on the do’s, stay away from the don’ts, and your tie rack will become another shining example of your ever-expanding fratitude.
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