July 2010 Fratdaddy of the Month

Eric — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:55:47 +0000

Confratulations to RJ Kimmons of Florida State, the July 2010 Fratdaddy of the Month. This photograph of RJ was taken at Beau Rivage casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. RJ is providing us a lesson on how to prepare to frattab at a casino, as he is seen here on the phone transferring money from one of his bank accounts. He probably had to transfer an extra few thousand than originally anticipated, as there is a Rolex store in the background. Confrats again to RJ, who will receive an award of a free “winyah” polo, courtesy of COAST Apparel.

[Due to technical difficulties, we are unable to post a picture of RJ at this time but we will as soon as the issue is resolved.]

For more information on how you can be the next Fratdaddy/Sorostitute of the Month, please visit:

http://frattinghard.com/fratdaddysorostitute-of-the-month-update-2/

Fratdaddy/Sorostitute of the Month Award Contest Rules

Eric — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 15:30:03 +0000

As you esteemed Fratology students well know, the Institute of Fratology has selected a Fratdaddy or Sorostitute of the Month for the past several months to be displayed on the homepage of our learning center. To recap how you apply for this prestigious award, you must be friends with Doug on Facebook. Next, you must send Doug a Facebook message with your frattiest picture and a description as to why you should be the Fratdaddy or Sorostitute of the Month. Remember, only submit a picture of yourself at your frattiest. We want to see why you frat the hardest. It is acceptable to use “photoshop” to remove others from your submission.
You may be curious as to why we are wasting your precious drinking time repeating information you already know. That is because we want you to know there is now a free prize associated with winning the award. Each recipient of the Fratdaddy or Sorostitute of the Month Award will receive one free “winyah” polo from Coast Apparel. So, have a pledge take some pictures of you at your frattiest and maybe you will get the recognition you deserve.

June 2010 Fratdaddy of the Month

Eric — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:39:00 +0000

Confratulations to Owen Boyle of Georgetown, the June 2010 Fratdaddy of the Month. Owen’s picture shows him on his spring break fracation to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. During his week long frabatical, Owen and his fellow fratdaddies bronzed, played golf, and took advantage of the all inclusive fratwater policy at their resort. To put it simply, they exercised their frat glands to the maximum. This picture was taken after a fratty beachside dinner, where some serious fratabbing was exhibited. As you can see, the attire is obviously frat and Owen even decided to support the stars and stripes in a fratty manner on foreign soil. Confrats again to Owen, who will receive an award of a free “winyah” polo, courtesy of COAST Apparel.

[Due to technical difficulties, we are unable to post a picture of Owen at this time but we will as soon as the issue is resolved.]

For more information on how you can be the next Fratdaddy/Sorostitute of the Month, please visit:

http://frattinghard.com/fratdaddysorostitute-of-the-month-update-2/

Quite Obviously, We’re Having Technical Issues

Doug Neidermeyer — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 20:47:16 +0000

But we’re getting them fixed, and we’ll be putting up some new articles very soon.

May 2010 Fratdaddy of the Month

Eric — Thu, 27 May 2010 21:31:44 +0000

Confratulations to Drew Carpenter of Virginia Tech, the May 2010 Fratdaddy of the Month. There is nothing Drew loves doing better than fratting to the extreme without taking any lunch breaks. In his spare time, Drew enjoys spitting on pledges. The picture of Drew was taken at their annual “Strawberries and Champagne” party. Drew can be seen wearing a green polo sport jacket with a seersucker shirt and Wayfarers. Congrats again to Drew, who will receive an award of a free “winyah” polo, courtesy of COAST Apparel.

[Due to technical difficulties, we are unable to post a picture of Drew at this time but we will as soon as the issue is resolved.]

For more information on how you can be the next Fratdaddy/Sorostitute of the Month, please visit:

http://frattinghard.com/fratdaddysorostitute-of-the-month-update-2/

COAST Apparel T-Shirt Contest Announcement

Eric — Thu, 27 May 2010 19:26:29 +0000

COAST Apparel of Pawleys Island is currently running a t-shirt design contest through June 15th where the winner will receive $500 in retail merchandise and $500 cash. For more information on the contest rules, please visit:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=12691353&id=139298405191

Review of new COAST Pawleys Island shirts

Eric — Wed, 26 May 2010 20:00:29 +0000

Your professors recently fratabbed at the clothing store by purchasing many items, including the new Huntington button-up shirts by COAST of Pawleys Island. We recently decided to wear the shirts while fratabbing at various establishments. Complements did occur (your professors’ good looks do not hurt) and as always, liquor and other abnormal stains easily washed out the next day once we located some sorostitutes to do our laundry. As for the shirt design itself, the COAST logo is on the sleeve, which is an interesting twist but it grew on us. In addition, the shirt seems to perform the double function (worn in either causal or formal situations) with ease. For more information on the Huntington button-up shirt, visit http://www.coastapparel.com/shop/index.php/huntington-shirt.html.

We would like to mention that COAST is selling “Save the Gulf” t-shirts those help those affected by the oil spill. COAST donates 100% of the proceeds to the Coalition to Restore Coastal Louisiana and the Gulf Restoration Network. For more information on how to purchase these shirts, visit http://www.coastapparel.com/shop/index.php/save-the-gulf-coast-t-shirt.html.

Advanced Fratting 501: The Bachelor Party

Eric — Tue, 25 May 2010 20:26:10 +0000

Wedding season is upon us in the world of frat, especially the post-grad world of frat. Throughout the summer, fratdaddies and sorostitutes worldwide will join hands in holy fratrimony just to keep it honest because bastard fratlings are frowned upon. Whenever a wedding can be found, you can be sure to find its frattier counterpart shortly before . . . the bachelor party. At this point in the lecture, we could tell you to go home and watch The Hangover and you would have a good understanding of how to have a fratty bachelor party. However, in these tough economic times, we want you to get the full value of your tuition dollars. Therefore, what follows is an overview of what is necessary to have the frattiest bachelor party.

[Note that when we state the "bachelor party," "you," etc., then we are referring to the bachelor himself and each of the party attendees individually and collectively]

Length:
Ideally, a bachelor party will last one weekend, beginning sometime Friday in route to the chosen destination and ending Sunday once you leave said destination. We have selected this scenario for the remainder of this lecture. Additionally, for precautionary reasons, the bachelor party should be at least one week before the wedding. This allows a somewhat reasonable amount of time for wounds to heal (both physically and emotionally), comas to end, court proceedings to conclude, etc.

Location:
The best location for a bachelor party should have the following opportunities: gambling, golf, fine dining, an adequate party scene, girls who pay their way through the Institute of Fratology by dancing without clothing, and a morally casual fratmosphere. One city stands head and shoulders above the rest, Las Vegas, while another stands alone in second, New Orleans. If for whatever reason those cities are not an option for your bachelor party, then several other larger cities offer most of the necessary opportunities to land you in a pair of ‘cuffs at the end of the night.

The Bachelor Party Begins (Friday Night):
It is utterly important to remember the number one rule of a bachelor party weekend: there are no rules. On Friday night, you should gamble, frequent adult establishments, especially those where no clothing is smiled upon, and drink spirits so strong that they would make Jack Daniels dry heave just thinking about them. When you wake up on Saturday, you should have to piece together your Friday. For example, on the Saturday morning of a bachelor party weekend, a bachelor may wake up in an abandoned warehouse, with no memory of how he arrived, tied to a chair with his mouth taped shut. Assuming the bachelor survives the apparent hostage situation, he should thank his fellow fratdaddies for caring enough to allow him to frat himself into that situation. During the weekend, if the bachelor’s Frathoe is set on fire and later pushed into the Mississippi, then that is okay because he will buy another one on Monday. If you accidentally lose all of your honeymoon expenses on blackjack and lap dances, then you know that your future father-in-law will help you out. This is what a bachelor party should be, no rules, and the belief of no consequences.

The Worst Feeling in the World (Saturday Morning):
It’s 11:37 A.M. on Saturday morning. You have been in bed for 1 hour, 47 minutes, and you have only been asleep for 13 minutes. All of the bachelor party should have tee times beginning in 23 minutes. You probably think that the mere suggestion of attempting to play golf the morning after the Friday night of a bachelor party is somewhat absurd. How could you physically swing a club? Also, you vaguely recall trading your clubs in the back of your Frathoe (prior to the fire) to a homeless man for a half of a Krystal just hours before. Nevertheless, you should play golf during a bachelor party. Every moment of the party must be used to frat hard. Golf provides an opportunity to do just that. It gets you out of bed, gives you an excuse to start throwing back the spirits again, and it allows you to frattab. Speaking of fratabbing, your bachelor party round of golf should cost no less than $100 in greens fees alone. Bachelor party rounds of golf costing less than $100 are for poor people who receive government checks.

The Celebratory Dinner (Saturday Night):
The point of the Saturday night dinner is that you have to eat anyway, so why not do it in the frattiest way possible? Reservations should be booked at the highest, most well-regarded restaurant possible. The same dollar figure for golf applies. You should be able to order steak, lobster, and need a spare two hours just to skim the wine list. During dinner is the time to recall fratty stories from the past about the bachelor, such as the time he pounded a Plan A on the hood of a S500. Also, we highly recommend that you reserve a private room. An elderly couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary at the next table does not want to hear about the fluid that graced the Mercedes-Benz Star. After the dinner, repeat Friday night above.

The Conclusion (Sunday Morning):
It should take a minimum of a week to recover from a bachelor party. A bachelor party should be the best time of your life that you cannot remember to save your life. The goal should be if your future wife finds out what occurred during your bachelor party, then you do not have to worry about setting up that joint checking account. Remember the number one rule is there are no rules.

The Guide to Spring Formal

Eric — Mon, 10 May 2010 20:27:43 +0000

If details from your spring formal make there way to the internet, then you probably had a pretty, pretty fratty time.

This also teaches us a very important lesson about party planning and management: be sure that you know your own level of fratting skill, and only contract with those party venues that are equipped (both personnel wise…and mentally) to handle the hurricane of frat that is about to rain down upon them.

http://deadspin.com/5534166/miami-university-had-the-pukiest-poopiest-sexiest-spring-formal-ever

The 2010 Frat Madness Tournament Champion

Eric — Fri, 07 May 2010 01:12:18 +0000

Confratulations to Washington & Lee, the 2010 Frat Madness Tournament Champion presented by Coast. Washington & Lee, even though a strong 2-Seed, surprised the frat world by knocking off some frat powerhouses. Now we present you with what should be the last poll of 2010:

* Summer semester at the Institute of Fratology is around the corner so expect some in depth lectures in the upcoming days *