As this picture clearly illustrates (click on the thumbnail to view the full image):

The University of Wisconsin recently defeated the University of Florida in the National Collegiate Ultimate Frisbee Championship.  It’s important to remember in competitions like these that it’s not whether you win or lose…it’s that you are completely lacking a frat glad if you’re anywhere near it.

This article made us think, though…what are the least fratty things that you can win?

Funny we should ask…

THE FIVE LEAST FRATTY THINGS YOU CAN WIN

5)  Any online video game that a)  isn’t a sports game b)  you don’t play in conjunction with one of your brothers while taking the entire thing absolutely unseriously and c)  isn’t played while enjoying a refreshing fratwater.

4)  Any game that involves, involved, will involve, might involve, is reputed to involve, or is rumored to involve a dwarf (the mythical kind…not the kind that delight us on Little People, Big World).

3)  The love of a Plan E with a heart of gold, a twinkle in her one good eye, and a slight odor reminiscent of moth balls and Funyans.

2)  “Customer of the Month” from StarTrekErotica.com.

1)  Of course, the FrattingHard.com Douchebag Invitational.

Most of you are on, just got back from, or are just about to go on spring break. When you go on spring break, and you frat hard, you should end up with some pretty wild stories…and what better to do with a wild story than to share it with the rest of the fratmosphere?

We want to see your best spring break story in the comments of this post. The best story wins absolutely nothing, but that shouldn’t matter, because you’re rich and you can buy whatever you want anyway.

One of our readers sent us this…some definite hard fratting potential in this video, although we’re more than worried about the Guitar Hero references therein.  Enjoy.

Also, you may call a blood-and-vomit smeared chair proof of a good time…but the people called “the police” call it “DNA evidence.” 

Click here for the whole story.

There are several very disturbing things about this story.  First of all, in perusing the mugshots, we noticed several hairstyles that can be called nothing else but straight douchebaggery.  The first kid looks like he would be less at home at the Frat Castle and more at home in an 80’s cover band called, “Satan’s Popsicle” or some similarly pseudo-hardcore hair band name.  It actually gets worse, as more of the young men appear to have got crazy with the hair gel.  No wonder they were vomiting. 

A reader emailed us a link to this video and asked us to pass it along.  Funny, although it slightly sickens me to hear a guy wearing that hat use the word “fratty.”

A member of the FrattingHard.com discussion forum alerted us to this video, which is just another cog in the Global War on Fratology. As you can see, douchebags worldwide have been constantly producing propaganda and misinformation in an attempt to convince the world that fraternity members are, themselves, douchebags. The effects of this can be clearly viewed every time a douchebag portrays a fraternity member as a Abercrombie wearing, collar popping, hair gelling, sorostitute roofie-ing individual. Even though true fratdaddies are the exact opposite of this conglomeration of embarrassment, the image sticks with those who are bereft of instruction in advanced fratology. As fratdaddies, we can combat this by living as fratty a lifestyle as possible and projecting that identity to the public at all times.

Apparently, this GDI was sitting in his dorm room, ready to play some online games, when the university broadband network went down. Institute of Fratology researchers believe that his violent reaction is a common, instinctual GDI behavior that is related to pent up sexual frustration and over-indulgence of sprayable cheese.

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