There will come a time in almost every fratdaddy’s and sorostitute’s life when daddy decides to pull the plug on the funds he has continuously placed into their bank accounts. This time should not be one of panic. Generating your own source of income will provide you with the fratty lifestyle you enjoyed throughout your college career and will finance the opportunity for your future fratlings to frat as hard as you did. Various occupations are considered fratty in nature and will allow one to earn a substantial living. To complement the accumulation of excessive income, the frattiest occupations are those that give a person both power and control. These are important as they help the fratty continue to be in the upper echelon of society, which positions them to continue the fight against global douchebaggery. The following includes, but is not limited to, some of the frattiest occupations known to the frat world (in alphabetical order):
Business Executive
The business executive is easily a fratty occupation. Rarely can you find something more frat than running all or a portion of a major corporation. With respect to living the fratty lifestyle, executive salaries are almost always at high levels and the executive title also includes numerous perks. For example, many executives have so many stock options that the mere exercising of them will make a GDI’s head explode if they were to ever count the zeros from the profit. Also, luxury company cars, business meetings at fine dining establishments or on the golf course, and control over many employees paves the way for one heck of a fratmosphere.
Doctor
The frattiest part of being a doctor is telling others that you are a doctor. Having Dr. preceding your name shows power, money, and lets everyone know that you are an important member of society. Since many doctors are self-employed, they can take time off to hit the links, vacation with their hot sorostitute wife, or engage in other fratty activities. Money tends to find its way into the pockets of most doctors, as GDI’s constantly have health problems due to depression from being a GDI and the threat of spontaneous head explosions. We also encourage you future fratty physicians to keep a track on all the sorostitutes that you know who are in nursing. They’re always a good number of them, and they should be kept in mind for when you have your own office and you want to keep its fratmosphere high.
Entrepreneur
There are few things in life frattier than having your name included in the name of your company. The entrepreneur has total control over everything relating to their job, and total control leads to more post-grad fratting possibilities. Similar to doctors, entrepreneurs can take time off to participate in fratty activities while GDI’s are doing all the labor to increase the entrepreneur’s frattabbing ability. Starting your own company can also lead to one of the frattiest occupations of all: the former entrepreneur who sold his company for millions of dollars and now sits on his yacht drinking beer and deep sea fishing off the coast of his private island.
Lawyer
Although many in the general public dislike this occupation, its inherent frattiness cannot be overlooked. Attorneys generate high levels of income, especially when they make partner, and are often very influential members of society. Being an attorney can also help you continually give back to your fraternity. Throughout life, many of your pledge brothers will occasionally have run-ins with the law; there’s no better way to blow off steam than to pull off a multi-million dollar merger/acquisition deal and then swing by the courthouse to get a pledge brother a reduced sentence in his DUI case on the way home. Lawyers who later become judges are even more powerful in that they can sentence a GDI to a frisbeeless jail cell for performing an act of douchebaggery. While some lawyers work excessively long hours, the hours often go down while the money goes up.
Politician
Simply put, no matter which occupation you choose, you can later become a politician. In fact, we highly encourage this career tract for several reasons. First of all, as an elected official, you will enjoy a great deal of respect and notoriety. Second, you will receive a rather paycheck for work done mostly by your aides. Lastly, after you finish your career in politics, corporations will be knocking down the door to place you on their corporate boards, where you can continue to rake in cash for doing ridiculously little work.
Loading ...
Related Articles
76 users responded to this post. Comment moderation is active.
lawyer is the frattiest…they have the most connections known to man…after lawyer comes judge and they have just as many if not more connections…as long as you’re a trial lawyer you have influence over alot of the town you live/practice in…everyone in the town eventually knows you for good/bad reasons…you get to pull in that cash, and you get every hook up in town when it comes to golf, parties, sporting events, and everything else fratty…and once if you’re a lawyer, after a few years you can test the waters of a politician…lawyers are almost always more respected than anyone else running your self respected election…and on a side note; what is frattier than walking into a courthouse in the dead of summer with a seersucker suit a la Atticus Finch…attorneys have it made…
Atticus Finch was both a fine attorney and the frattiest man in town (although that wasn’t hard, given his town).
Agreed. Boo Radley was GDI as hell
What about Investment Bankers. I am being flown out to Tokyo and put up in a hotel for a week long job interview with a Mergers and Acquisitions advisory firm. Investment Banking has typically attracted some of the frattiest individuals, and the executive compensation, and bonus packages are some of the highest in any industry. I know you have business exec up on your list, and I agree with all of the other fratty professions, I just wanted to add Bankers to your list. What are your thoughts on this?
Anon:
The above list is by no means exhaustive. Investment banking is frat, as is stock brokerage, venture capitalists, and all manner of consultants.
Agreed, I’m in law school but I view investment banking as equally fratty as the law. Power, prestige, connections, much more money than even partners at BIGLAW for many of the best and of course there’s always the investment banker, lawyer, politician career path that screams frattiness.
dont know why my posted was labeled as Anon earlier, but anyways yah, Investment Banker then Politician is the route I have kind of set my sights on, but I would rather fill an apointed position as an ambassador, or Consul than an elected one. Lots of money, power, and influence, diplomatic immunity (for when you frat too hard sometimes) and not having to go on TV and sell yourself as being able to connect to GDI assholes who you have nothing in common with. I had a buddy who was the son of the Danish Ambassador to Switzerland, he fratted pretty hard for a foreigner.
Nothing is frattier than a computer engineer.
As an individual who has had many opportunities to flex diplomatic immunity in South America, it is really awesome.
w ww.askandyaboutclothes.com/forum/archive/index.php?t-56570.html
Everyone has to look at this! Here are some “intelligent” alumni discussing fratty topics.
That article should be deleted for the simple fact they called Hampden-Sydney College, which is one of the frattiest schools ever, “Hamden Sydney” any true fratter would know the correct spelling of such a fratty school.
Stockbroker hands down needs to be on the list.
gditolerant you are a douch bag
gditolerant you are a douchebag
wow another lame comment from GDItolerant, what a surprise.
frat pas: an embarrassing social error, usually minor in nature, made to interrupt something that is otherwise fratty in nature
Ex: I knew John’s decision to don those jean shorts with his RL polo, Sperrys, and Croakies was a frat pas when I heard the sorostitutes on Milledge snicker at him.
Great phrase, PF&C. That may very well be the fratty word/phrase of the week this week.
I always thought being a Psychologist was a fratty profession… maybe that falls under the “doctor” subcatergory.
Tip for freshmen: About 70% of psychology majors are women! Choose Psych as a major and you will be surrounded by sorostitutes 24/7.
How ’bout Pizza delivery… That’s what most of the fratters from my school are doing. (To be fair, some of them are actually making the pizza’s too) You guys are a JOKE!
wow, that is one GDI I will not tolerate.
i hope that was a joke PF&C.
no one gets a pass for jean shorts
I would say you could have a pass for Jean shorts if it is a themed party, but that would be the gameday exception.
Read the whole post, Bro; I clearly meant jean shorts to be the embarrassing error. As for a pass for them, I can’t think of a reasonably themed party, short of maybe a “Look Like A Dumbass” party.
dude, i read the whole post. Jean shorts are not an embarassing error. If you were wearing them, it was because you owned a pair which would have been a conscience decision unless you put on a pair when you were blacked out. Even then you would have had to know someone who owned a pair, which would also be completely unacceptable.
If it was a themed party (white trash, etc) then it wouldnt really be an error, because you would be fitting in with the party. I also don’t know why you would be wearing the rest of the ensemble you mentioned (polo, ’siders, croakies) in that certain party instance either, thus making that argument pointless.
Either way, the definition is fucking retarded. Stop trying so hard.
An error is not by definition unconscious. “Error” means that you simply made a blunder. So, I maintain that the wearing of jean shorts with otherwise fratty attire is an error (or blunder, or fifty other synonyms) that interrupts, disgraces, or compromises an otherwise fratty situation (in this case, someone’s attire). You could apply it outside of clothing, of course, but fashion is so easy to apply. Just think of how women talk about how wearing white after Labor Day is a “fashion faux pas”–a conscious decision that is, apparently, in error.
Also, this website is, unless I’m gravely mistaken and should leave, meant to be reasonably comical. So, adding “frat” to words/phrases is an exercise that is not 100% serious. In fact, if someone did seriously use all the words in the dictionary regularly and daily, I would be compelled to question their manhood.
And yeah, you do have a valid point, Bro. Jean shorts are pretty weak wardrobe decisions. Even cargo shorts are less of an affront. Pretty inexcusable…
Arguing on frattinghard.com is about as cool as putting peanut butter on your balls and letting your grandmother lick it off. But “Bro” be a little more lighthearted. We’re all here for a good time, and just like PFC said, its not 100% serious. And if Im thinking correctly, PFC lives in Athens, which is one of the coolest cities in the country. But I could easily be wrong.
On the nature of this website….serious, comical, etc.
This site is meant to be both comical and serious. It’s serious in that we want to impart fratological knowledge and have discussions from our readers on these issues. At the same time, we try to put as much humor in it as possible, and we hope ya’ll think some of the stuff that we put up is funny, because we want to entertain you as well.
The dictionary is a good example of this mixture. Like PF&C says, if you use all these words 24/7, that’s trying to be something you’re not. No one talks that way. At the same time, when you see some sorostitute trying to sneak a big bag in the Frat Castle, and you remark to your bro about her “shack pack”….you get the point. It’s all about having a good time in the frattiest way possible. As it was said, it’s not 100% serious.
In that spirit, frat pas is going to be our fratty word/phrase of the week this week. Some of the words we put up are more serious than others. Prof. Stratton and I use the term “frat lap” a lot…but not because we take it serious, we just think it’s one of the funnier terms (in context) in the dictionary. Frat pas is something that we’d probably hardly ever use, but we still think it’s a pretty funny term…one of our favorite parts of making this website is thinking up the “example sentences” for the FW/POTW, because of the absurdity of trying to fit some of those words into a coherent statement.
Always remember…only douchebags take themselves TOO seriously.
I’m surprised that people only mentioned the money/prestige aspects of lawyering. Let us not forget the golf course and the hunting lease/ranch–where the real deals are made. Lawyers basically get paid to participate in fratty activities, and once they make a deal participating in said activities, they make even more.
Another Fratty profession: Being Jimmy Buffett. I play music every once in a while, causing everyone around to become fratty and party hard, and get payed millions for it. The rest of the year I go sailing and play golf.
you also drink copious amounts of alcohol
we need a forum!!!!…
Another semi-fratty job for only a few years after college: being a fishing guide in the gulf or off the coast of the south. I know theres not much money, but you’ll meet rich people and get connections and tell them your taking a break after med. school or law school. And you get to drink a lot and wear PFG all the time and be out in the sun listening to Buffet. Anyway, it wouldn’t be fratty if you did it and did it GDI’ly for 30 years, but for a few years I’d say fratty. Especially if you can still bum money from your parents.
Art majors have by far one of the frattiest occupations. You can work your own hours and you can even get creative and design your own types of fratty clothes. Instead of having to buy searsucker pants maybe splash your own type of colors on your trousers. Doug, why was the left off of the list?
Wow, I’m starting to become less and less tolerant of these GDI wannabes. I’m sorry for ever letting anyone down.
art major is not fratty. that’s about as cool as cancer
An art major is about as fratty as Lee Hotti.
I’m planning on going to medical school after undergraduate days are over, however i’m looking towards plastics, is this too much of GDI gel head profession, i feel i could frat just as hard if not harder, potentially change the look of plastic surgeon, whats your take on this?
Gel heads are everywhere in any line of work where there’s a lot of money involved–don’t quite understand why. Think about all of the Wall Street GDIs. If you frat hard, any normal profession will become frattier. As I believe JFK once said, ask not how your job can affect you fratting hard, but how your fratting hard can affect your job.
Today we salute you, shining fratstar. Even though you come from an upper class neighborhood, you still know the difference between a rifle and a shotgun and everyone still respects the Ducks Unlimited stickers on your Z-71. Your undying love for Jim Beam, G.W. Bush, and Texas country is only surpassed by your undying love for Natty Light and drunken phone calls. With your Costas radiating a deep ocean blue frattiness to the world, you are the purveyor of everything wrong with Western civilization. Alumni have a job waiting for you after college, and class is optional. Take tomorrow off to play a little Tiger Woods and clean your boat shoes, because you deserve it. So kick back at the frat castle, take off your fratastic camouflage hat and North Face, and grab an ice cold Bud Light, shining fratstar, because we all know you can afford it.
I’d have to say that my career as a film camera man is quite fratty. It’s not a ‘power or prestige’ position, but pays excellent nonetheless and I get to go on location and am usually outside. This allows me to be extremely fratty while on a location shoot. My work attire is usually shorts, frat-flops or New Balance, t-shirt, a fratty baseball hat, and my Ray-Bans with Croakies.
While being a Doctor may be a fratty occupation, becoming one is definitely not. Unless you utterly brilliant, getting a good enough GPA to get accepted into medical school requires that you attend all your classes. This makes fitting in the weekday trips to the golf course very difficult. It also may require one to skip a weekend of partying in order to study for the biochemistry or endocrinology exam that you have the upcoming week. If you take one thing from this post, it should be that doctors have made great sacrifices in their undergrad frattiness to attain their desired profession, so they deserve the up most respect. This could also be said about lawyers as well, but I’m unaware to what extent, as I want to go to medical school and not law school.
I’m going to have to add military officer to the list of fratty occupations. It’s one of the few professions where a 22 year old guy with only an undergraduate degree is directly in charge of and responsible for 40 or so other people. Not to mention the connections you make as an officer combined with the professional expierience you gain makes it very easy to get a sweet job once you get out. Also, the pay while your in as not bad at all.
Citadel,
We agree. In fact, we wrote a whole article on that very point. I invite you an all other of our brave military fratdaddies to check it out:
http://frattinghard.com/military-fratting/
As far as the officer goes in the military goes, and i know what i’m talking about, my father is colonel, the young officers don’t really have that much control at all. The position of officer doesn’t mean that much as far as being in charge of people until they get higher up. An upper ranking enlisted soldier while technically under a lower level officer, will do not heed the orders of a lower officer. I’m not trying to dispute the fratiness of the military officer, i plan on being one as well, but I am just saying the claim that a 22 year old lower level officer is not really responsible for anyone.
I think a proffessional golfer should be added to the list. I mean, it is one of the frattiest activities known, plus you get paid millions of dollars for it.
Southern,
Good points, but I would argue that being a lower level officer is sort of like being in “pledgeship”…you don’t yet have all the advantages, but you’re on track to get them later.
Southern Frat,
Spot on with the professional golfer addition. Look at total fratstar Davis Love III… easily the frattiest golfer on the tour, from the south, and regularly pulls in tournament checks in excess of $200,000… for not even winning.
Also, lest we forget John Daly. At the PGA Championship a couple years back, I got to witness him first hand crack beers and blast cigs while walking from the tee box to his ball. He also put his cig out on the ground. Keep in mind this is while at a major championship… Later that year, at Harbor Town in Hilton Head, I witnessed him tell one of the workers at the course to get him a bite to eat. tfm
Regards,
Fratrick
i see what you mean doug, and i agree, lower level officer is probably more like the pledgeship of being an office.
fratrick, good examples of fratty golfers, i think a large amount of fratdaddies would do that if they had the chance
I’m going to disagree with Southern frat on the no responsibility card for junior officers. There’s a lot more to the process. Although technically inferior in terms of knowledge and experience to a senior enlisted NCO, the platoon leader/junior officer is responsible for all nonexpendable items in that unit; he answers to the CO for all of the troops in his unit; and though he heeds the advice of a senior NCO, if that NCO doesn’t carry out the order of the day, then that’s insubordination and an example of poor unit cohesion.
Like Citadel man and Doug said, military officer is definitely very fratty. And being a junior officer is definitely like being in pledgeship to higher officers - no doubt about it. They own your ass
more importantly whats the minimum fratty salary postgrad?
I’d say it is possible to frat hard on 50k if you live in a rural area. In the city, you need at least 70k to frat hard.
We need fratiest cities for a post grad. I am perosnaly a fan of charleston or charlotte
Do not rule out New York City as a very fratty city to live in post-grad. There are strong alumni groups,numerous bars that are all within walking distance and easily accessible. Fratting out on a sidewalk bar on a summer afternoon with fellow friends, talking with ex-soristitutes & drinking beers doesn’t get any frattier. Also, one must make at least $90k to live a fratty lifestyle here. This instantly gives credibility to one’s frattiness and distinguishes us from the douchebags and guidos that come in from outside the island of Manhattan.
The Tri-9,
I’m going to have to disagree. While it goes without question New York is a great place to visit, I’d rather blow a hole in my head than live there. The population density alone of that city means that regardless of location, you’ll be living practically on top of some GDI filth. Not to mention the copious amount of imigrants, rats, bums and hood’s that are there. Name one southern city with a substantial Chinatown or a Jewish district… And even if a frat daddy were to live there, it would take a substantially higher salary to live a life truly fit for post-grad fratting. While Wall Street and investment firms are nice, if you did have to work in NYC, live in Connecticut. Save Manhattan dwellings for Seinfeld.
Regards,
Fratrick
In response to Fratrick,
You work in NY for a couple years, pick up a Sorostitute living in NY, give her an MRS degree, and shack away in a huge castle in Greenwich, Darien, Stamford, ect when you start a family.
Deke,
Agreed, that is a decent plan. But you really can’t measure NYC in terms of frattiness due to:
1.) Location (North)
2.) Population (I’m sorry, but walking over people on my way to work and/or having a miserable time owning a vehicle in the city certainly deducts from its frattiness)
3.) Guido’s
I understand that some truly fratastic positions need one to move to NYC, but it is simply not a fratty place. For example, a fratty place would be Charleston or Savannah. Even Atlanta if you really need the major area. NYC should be reserved for work trips/take the kids to see the sights after you pick up your southern delight wife. Again, just my opinion on the matter.
Regards,
Fratrick
Fratrick,
I understand your position and don’t disagree at all. I was basically trying to state the same thing that Deke has stated. Most of us have taken positions here as a means to an end. And also to keep pipelines of frattiness ,for the select few, into jobs of high power and influence. In other words, we are needed up here, to keep balance, so as to not let the douchebags of the world get their gdi hands on too much. Sure it’s a sacrifice to some extent, and perhaps it is not necessarily a fratty place to live, but with the right mix of fratty friends and right places to go, there are definitly very fratty activities to be done here.
Here at the Univ of Texas, Petroleum Engineering is very fratty…Many fratdaddys come from oil money, and the fastest way to the top of an oil company is as a PE, not a business man. Although Petroleum Engineering is one of the smallest majors in the country(if not the smallest), the frattiness of PEs at Texas atleast, and the PEs I have meet in the field or in the office is very high. Highest starting salary of any job out of college (80k, 5-20k signing bonus, average 2 raises per year) and making tons of money in the oil buisness is inherently fratty. Very rarely at Texas, because of rising admission standards will you find a class room of 30 fratters/sororitutes, 5 GDIs, and then 5 millionaire middle easterners or guys from Kazacastan.
The Tri-9,
“Pipelines of frattiness”… excellent term. I can see your point about fratty friends and locales in NYC. The key is to make sure those who surround you would make your brothers proud. This, of course, goes without saying.
We are a select breed, and in environments such as NYC (where people wouldn’t know class if it shit in their mouth), we can’t let our locations dictate our frattitude. The proper fratstar should be able to be supplanted to anywhere, north or south, and turn an otherwise lame and gdi position into a place your fraternity would be proud to visit. Again, just my opinion, but I like where you’re headed with the right mix of fratty friends and fratty places to go.
Regards,
Fratrick
Fred Couples = frat
Ryan Seacrist = frat
What about government officials such as those working in the CIA, NSA, etc? I’d have to say an intelligent officer, most commonly known as “spies,” are very fratty since they are and always have to be smart, sophisticated, and deal well with high pressure situations.
Fratrick, “We are a select breed, and in environments such as NYC (where people wouldn’t know class if it shit in their mouth), we can’t let our locations dictate our frattitude.” Fucking classic.
And, I’m on the same page with pledgetrainer… I’m double majoring in criminal justice and french, and minoring in spanish, and after I finish with that I’m getting my MBA/Masters of Homeland Security. And although FBI/CIA salaries are for the most part confidential, if you have to settle for an “international security adviser” for a company you still bank 90K to 150K starting pay, as reported by http://www.usajobs.opm.gov/ . So, needless to say, high level security management jobs (which includes FBI, etc) are fratty because of how much they pay, but also because of how bad ass it is to get paid to be the modern day, true to life James Bond.
UT fratty & pledgetrainer,
I agree with you about the fine people that do service to our country by having fratty jobs at CIA, NSA, FBI. Though most of the salaries are indeed unknown, the frat power that is gained by such employment goes without question.
Another fratcuppation: being me. I drive around Frathoes all day, point my Glock at fifty people per day, and am on a first name basis with everyone in the White House.
Also my family is rich as hell.
Doug, loooove it! This site rocks the frat hard. My fratty husband broke his third Ironman timex POS watch and it’s time for a serious upgrade. He works in one of your fratty occupations listed above and can afford a statement piece. Tell me Doug, what’s a fratty watch for a guy who’s done well so far and is headed up up up? Something cool, not vulgar but definitely not of the masses.
Jack Bauer, could you be any more obnoxious? If you’re so rich, go buy a clue.
Lacrosse mom,
I’m a big fan of the Tag Heuer, personally. Of course, a Rolex (so long as you don’t get one that’s tricked out and excessively flashy) always says class.
We’re glad to see you here. You’re setting a great example, as getting fratdaddies to be post-grad hard fratters is one of our main aims.
the frattiest fields in medicine are plastic surgery-aesthetics, dermatology-aesthetics, orthopedics-foot surgery, and neurosurgery-oncology. In these fields, you can get away with working 5-8 hours a day, earn around 800G’s+ a year, have little malpractice risk, few emergency cases/on-call nights, and in general live the frattiest life known to man.
If you choose neurosurgery, make sure you do the oncology fellowship afterwards! otherwise you’ll be working all hours of the day with about 3 hours to sleep. But with the oncology fellowship, you can work 9 to 5, zap tumors with a Gamma knife, save lives, and go home knowing you are fighting the greatest fight and doing noble work with your life.
Its a long hard road to get there but whats more powerful than the ability to save a human life? doesn’t matter if you’re the pope, the president, or even a piece of shit GDI; at some point your life will be in danger and you’ll need a doctor to save your life or the life of a loved one!
Would anyone consider Coaching college football to be a Fratty Occupation?
Owning a car dealership is the frattiest thing you could possibly do as an occupation…preferably having your dad hand over the reigns to you.
Professional Pilot or a Naval/Marine Corps Aviator. Summer Job= Yaught Hand on a 100′ plus yaught or Bartender at Local Yaught Club.
investment banking/financial advisor one of the frattiest professions known to man, also anything having to do with golf
Any job that allows you to work with other fratters, be at least upper middle class, and take enough time off work to go to football games on most saturdays is a fratty job.
Also, working on a YACHT owned by somebody else is not as fratty as having your own.
hmmm….very interesting!
thanks google
Business Administration + Sports = Fratty Major….1/2 intelligent students, 1/2 basketball players = easy A’s, great recommendations, and the athletic director was in my chapter…I like my career route.
Leave A Reply