FrattingHard.com

Fratteries – Noun: The innate inner drive that fuels every fratdaddy to frat hard for far longer, and far harder, than the human body should be able to sustain.

ex. I didn’t sleep from the start of the Thursday mixer until after the post-game band party Saturday, so I will probably skip class until next Thursday to recharge my fratteries.

Popularity: 21% [?]

As our seasoned readers already know, the heart and soul of this site is the classes that we offer on the fine art and subtle science of fratting hard.  For you new readers, this site redesign is a good time to go back over which class is for what level of fratdaddy or sorostitute.

If you have not yet matriculated, you should look at Rush 099.  The lessons you learn will help you when the time comes for you to become a fledgling fratdaddy.  Remember:  you do not pick the fraternity…the fraternity picks you.

For beginners to moderately seasoned fratdaddies and sorostitutes, we have Fratting Hard 101.  This is the largest of our classes, and it contains a wealth of important information that really is helpful for fratdaddies and sorostitutes of any age…if only for review.

For more advanced members of the Greek Community, we have Advanced Fratting 301.  As the site grows older, we know that many of you started reading us as freshmen, and are now growing older with us, so this will be the fastest growing of any of our classes.

Finally, we have Postgrad Fratting 501, our graduate level class for those of you that have already walked across the stage.  A couple of nights ago, I logged on to my Facebook page to accept friend requests and what not, and I got a message from an esteemed fratdaddy that is my new hero.  He is a seasoned frat daddy…in fact, he’s been fratting hard for over 30 years.  Now a successful businessman, he told me that he has lived the fratty lifestyle from the time he got to college to the present, and reads our site with regularity.  We, as younger fratdaddies, can only hope to one day live up to this lofty ideal of Lifelong Fratting.

Of course, you shouldn’t limit yourself to one class.  Every lesson has something for everyone…some nugget of wisdom that you may find helpful when at the frat castle, at the bar, closing the deal on a Plan A, or talking your way out of a pesky roadblock.

Popularity: 12% [?]

File this one under, “Well, he was literally asking for it.”

A ski trip between a fraternity and sorority at TCU ended with tragedy (for one guy’s gluteous) when one brother agreed to let his brothers brand his rear end with their fraternity letters.

That was when he was awake.  When he passed out, they decided to finish the job by branding his other cheek with the letters of the sorority they were on the trip with.

Of course, now the young man is pursuing legal action for the second branding…even though he asked for the first.  This is silly, of course, as any fratdaddy knows that, like a t-shirt, a disfigured ass commemorating a formal just isn’t complete without both parties’ letters.

Popularity: 28% [?]

Review Session – Noun: The act of a fratdaddy using a social networking website to examine pictures and information regarding sorostitutes he interacted/shacked with after a drunktaneous evening.

ex. Cliff believed that he had acquired the number of a Plan A in the bar last night, but after a review session on Facebook he learned that she was a high Plan C at best.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Chevrolet Silverado z71 Truck

We decided to go with the z71 in this spot, but to be honest the real selection here is the more general category of any full sized pickup truck, and F-150 could just as easily be pictured in this spot.

The full sized truck bears several advantages for its fratdaddy owner.  First of all, be honest, ladies…you love the truck.  You will find that many sorostitutes, especially those from south of the Mason-Dixon Line, have an almost innate attraction to a vehicle that has an actual component called “the bed.”  Coincidence?  We think not.  Pull up to her sorority house beside the GDI in his Corolla who is there to pick up his Plan C Triple Legacy Had-to-Take-Her-Because-Nationals-Told-Us-To girlfriend, and the projection is clear.  You are showing masculinity and confidence…he is showing a douchesque worry about fuel mileage.

This brings us to another point:  fuel economy.  As we mentioned with the Ford Bronco, these trucks drink gas like you drink Fratty Lite while pregaming on Thursday night.  Be sure to rev your engine at redlights whenever you pull up next to a hybrid…someone has to make up for the gas he is saving.

What dropped the full sized truck down to #4 on the list?  Unfortunately, this venerable vehicle has been hijacked…literally…by a number of trying too hard douchebags.  By “hijacked”, I mean they jack the car high in the air, put on monster truck tires and, Frat Gods forbid, fill the back windshields up with stickers that they perceive to be fratty (if you’re wearing Costas, we see they’re Costas…take at least 6 of the 17 Costas stickers on your car off).  If you actually take your truck off-road, a respectable off-road package is fine.  If you break out in a cold sweat if you accidentally hit gravel, don’t make your truck look like this:

As we always say, though, when GDI’s try to usurp fratty territory, we don’t give an inch.  Keep your truck smaller than Gravedigger, and consider taking your z71 and your sorostitute of choice on a “camping trip”…tent not required.

Popularity: 30% [?]

Over the last week, you may have noticed that FrattingHard.com was not available.  What was available was a placeholder page left by our old website hosts directing you to indulge in some high quality male pornography.  For those lurking GDI’s who took them up on the offer, and now owe several thousand dollars on your dad’s credit card to, “FarmBoyzSheepTacular.com”, we do not apologize, and you need to re-wash my car.

The whole site isn’t fully functional yet…some pictures may not show up, you may encounter a broken link or two…but everything is mostly back in order.  Last night, I fixed the Classes and Dictionary.  Tonight, I’ll start on the posts.  I’ll get a bottle of Evan Williams Green Label, start editing, and however far I get before I pass out…well, that’s it.  There’s always tomorrow.

In the meantime, do this because I’m telling you to:

• If you haven’t already, link up with us through my facebook account,  facebook.com/dougneidermeyer
• Vote in the poll over in the sidebar.
• Send us some fratty pictures/stories.
• Come back to the site every day.  It’s like being a pledge…even if I have nothing for you to do right now, you still need to be here.

Popularity: 31% [?]

So, I’m in Charleston for New Years, and I’m minding my own business, frattabbing and throwing down Woodford like its well-water, and the next thing I know, I wake up leaned up against the wall of Fort Sumter wearing naught but my specially ordered extra breathable boxer shorts.

Apparently, enough whiskey makes me an exceptionally good swimmer.

But that’s not the news.   The news is that, while passed out, I had this dream, and Tom Selleck came down out of the Heavens, his chest hair gleaming, and told me, “Doug, stop slacking, redesign the website, and start posting again.”

So here we go.

A new site design will be up in a day or three.  Hopefully, all current issues with the site (mostly caused by me getting frustrated while trying to work with the code innards and turning to the bottle) will be fixed, and life will go on.

Popularity: 8% [?]

“I guess dogs can be students of Fratology.”

* Special thanks to Mitch Sharrock of Baylor for submitting this photo *

Popularity: 31% [?]

Congratulations to Krista Robertson of Kentucky, the winner of the December 2009 Sorostitute of the Month Award. This “Plan A” sorostitute knows how to dress for a gameday in the SEC. Notice the pearls and sorority button. [Side note: Every sorostitute should have a (insert sorority) loves the (insert school nickname) button or sticker for gamedays. Also, every fratdaddy should wear his date's sorority sticker as well.] Krista would never participate in douchebaggery, such as wearing a jersey to game. If you are fortunate, you will one day have the opportunity to witness this “Plan A” fratting hard around the Kentucky campus. Congratulations again to Krista Robertson.

To be considered for the Fratdaddy or Sorostitute of the Month Award in the future, please see the contest rules posted at this link and this link.

* We are currently performing site maintenance to improve your Fratological education.  We hope to have the site fully operational again in the near future.  In the meantime, have a few fratwaters and review your old lessons. *

Popularity: unranked [?]