FrattingHard.com

These two frat kings meet for the third year in a row in the championship game.  Will Costas & Croakies hang on to win their third crown or will Hazing finally cause their opponent to de-pledge?

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Last year we started the Douchebag Invitational Tournament to give us an excuse to make fun of GDI’s and determine the arch nemesis of the fratdaddy.  The tournament was a success so we decided to do it again this year.  The format for the Douchebag tourney will be exactly like the format of the Frat Madness Tournament, except all the entrants will not be found at a Frat Castle.  Here is the field of douchebaggery:

Clothing Region:

(1-Seed) Abercrombie Muscle Shirt vs. Headband (8-Seed)

(2-Seed) Hair Gel vs. Designer Jeans (7-Seed)

(3-Seed) Cargo Jorts vs. Hooded Sweatshirt (6-Seed)

(4-Seed) “Choker” Necklace vs. Flat Bill Cap (5-Seed)

Food/Drink Region:

(1-Seed) Mike’s Hard Lemonade vs. Caffeine-Free Soda (8-Seed)

(2-Seed) Kool-Aid vs. Taco Bell before 10:00 P.M. (7-Seed)

(3-Seed) Ramen Noodles vs. Rice Krispy Treats (6-Seed)

(4-Seed) Coupons vs. University Cafeteria Meal Plan (5-Seed)

Party Region:

(1-Seed) Techno Rave vs. Wii Party (8-Seed)

(2-Seed) Star Wars Convention vs. Library “Flash” Party (7-Seed)

(3-Seed) Glo Sticks vs. LAIRE (6-Seed)

(4-Seed) Emo Music vs. Sober Driving (5-Seed)

Misc. Region:

(1-Seed) Spray Tan vs. Moisturizing Lotion (8-Seed)

(2-Seed) Ultimate Frisbee vs. Biking to Class (7-Seed)

(3-Seed) World of Warcraft vs. Barb Wire Tattoo (6-Seed)

(4-Seed) Body Paint vs. Steriods (5-Seed)

*** 1’s vs. 8’s will tip off next Thursday to start the Douchebag Invitational Tournament ***

*** Remember to vote for Hazing or Formal/Cocktail in the game below ***

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A tattoo a day keeps the bids away.

*** Remember to vote for Hazing or Formal/Cocktail below ***

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Who will make it to the Championship Game against Costas & Croakies?

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The highly anticipated matchup between the three time champion of the Clothing Region and the king of the Food/Drink Region has finally arrived.

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Congratulations to Jeptha Tanksley of Alabama, the winner of the May 2009 Fratdaddy of the Month Award.  In this picture, Jeptha is fratting hard at the Atlanta Steeplechase, an event that is full of fratdaddies, beautiful southern sorostitutes, and enough bourbon to fill the Chattahoochee River.  He is wearing some extremely fratty attire.  Notice the Costas, VV bowtie, seersucker pants, and classic button down shirt.  Of course, you can’t frat hard without some kind of frat water in your hand, complete with koozie.  Congratulations again to Jeptha Tanksley.

To be considered for the Fratdaddy or Sorostitute of the Month Award in June, please see the contest rules posted at this link and this link.

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Unfortunately in past lectures, we have caused some minor confusion concerning whether or not video games are fratty.  We constantly make fun of those participating in online Halo tournaments while finding ourselves pushing buttons on random afternoons trying to win a heated rivalry in NCAA Football.  Video games are inherently douchebaggish.  However, in certain circumstances, playing them is acceptable in the frat world.  After all, some of them can be fun, especially if the fratmosphere is high before turning on the power button.  During this two to three part miniseries, we are going to draw the lines to help you determine when video games are acceptable and when video games should be exclusive to GDI’s locked in a dorm room on a Friday night.  A later lecture will examine what games are playable by fratdaddies on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3.  If the demand is present, we will conclude the mini series with an analysis of the music games, such as Guitar Hero and Rock Band.

Our analysis begins with the Nintendo Wii.  Yes, this is the video game system that allows one to mimic real life actions, such as swinging the controller like a tennis racket to make contact with the ball.  If you are under twelve or a sorostitute, you are likely very familiar with the Wii.  Sorostitutes seem to be in love with the Wii.  I guess there is something about looking at a stick figure of yourself while mimicing a bowling motion that is appealing.  As mentioned in the opening paragraph, video games can be fun and if the game can be played without decreasing the level of frat in the fratmosphere, then picking up a Wii controller from time to time is permissible.

What really makes the Wii tilt the scale to the unfratty side is the douchiness of “fake” bowling, tennis, golf, etc.  Fratddaddies especially, look like the biggest douches in the world moving their arms around with a little white remote.  If you want to go bowling, find a respectable alley with your fraternity brothers and frattab by ordering pitcher after pitcher.  If you want to play golf, I am sure that you can locate a nearby course with a dress code to keep the GDI’s off the fairways.  Simply put, fratdaddies should not be sitting around a 60-inch HDTV playing Wii unless the sun has set, sorostitutes are ready to play, and some Wild Turkey got loose in the frat castle.

In conclusion, if you are sitting at home on a Friday night trying to beat Mario World, then you are not fratting hard with the Wii.  However, if you are predrinking/pregaming with sorostitutes by playing some Wii Sports before going out to the bars, then your behavior is acceptable.  Basically, adult beverages, at the very least, and preferably, sorostitutes need to be involved.  So, is the Wii frat or not?  It depends on who and why one is waggling the “Wiimote.”

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Pledge Gear (noun) – the attire worn by a potential fratdaddy during pledgeship, typically consisting of a solid-colored polo, conservative blue jeans or khakis, and Newbies.

Ex:  I need to run home and change my pledge gear before the pledge party since my polo reeks of hellacious hazing.

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This should be an epic battle to determine the final member of the 2009 Fratty Four.

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