FrattingHard.com

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Note: Voting for these games will conclude at 12:59 A.M. on Sunday, March 2nd

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As promised, selections have been made in the first annual DOUCHEBAG INVITATIONAL PRESENTED BY MY NEW HAIRCUT. Unsurprisingly, hair gel took the top spot in the clothing region. Anabolic steroids leads the food/drink category, while techno rave is the favorite in the party region. Finally, ultimate frisbee holds the top spot in the miscellaneous region.

Click below to view the full bracket. The first round matchups will be made available for voting soon.

DOUCHEBAG INVITATIONAL BRACKET

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Last year, FrattingHard.com presented the First Annual FRAT MADNESS TOURNAMENT, where 32 fratty items and activities battled it out to determine the frattiest item or activity of 2007. When the smoke cleared, Costas and Croakies reigned supreme.

This year, the FRAT MADNESS Field is stronger than ever. However, we got to thinking…in college basketball, teams that aren’t good enough to make the NCAA tournament still get to fight it out in the NIT in a valiant battle to prove themselves to be the 66th best team in the land. With this inspiration, we decided that it would be good to make, as a prelude to FRAT MADNESS, a tournament for the “also rans”…and when we think “also rans”, we think “douchebags.

Therefore, this year will mark the inception of the First Annual Douchebag Invitational (Presented by My New Haircut). We chose 16 items & activities that will bring tears of joy to the eye of any GDI (as opposed to their usual tears of shame), and it will be up to you, the readers, to decide which item or activity is so rife with douchebaggery that its vinegary scent can be detected from miles away.

As in the FRAT MADNESS tournament, the four regions are clothing, food/drink, party, and miscellaneous. Stay tuned…the first matchups are coming soon!

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Your Professors of Fratology are continually brainstorming to come up with ways to better facilitate our readers’ enjoyment of the Fratological Arts. A while back, we launched the popular FrattingHard.com Discussion Forum as a means for fratdaddies and sorostitutes from across the country to converse with one another on all things fratty. Today, we have completed an upgrade to a new, more powerful forum as part of our commitment to continual improvement of the site.

If you registered for the old forum, all your information (username, password, signature, avatar, etc.) has already been migrated for you. You need only to log in with your usual credentials. If you have not yet registered, we encourage you to do so & join the discussions with other fratocentric individuals.

Click Here to Enter the NEW FrattingHard.com Discussion Forum

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Also, you may call a blood-and-vomit smeared chair proof of a good time…but the people called “the police” call it “DNA evidence.”

Click here for the whole story.

There are several very disturbing things about this story.  First of all, in perusing the mugshots, we noticed several hairstyles that can be called nothing else but straight douchebaggery.  The first kid looks like he would be less at home at the Frat Castle and more at home in an 80’s cover band called, “Satan’s Popsicle” or some similarly pseudo-hardcore hair band name.  It actually gets worse, as more of the young men appear to have got crazy with the hair gel.  No wonder they were vomiting.

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Valentine’s Day. It happens once a year and typically it makes fratdaddies cringe at the thought of the abundance of extra effort required to keep a sorostitute of choice pleased and content. However, your professors see Valentine Day’s as an optimal opportunity to increase your fratitude while surviving to receive plenty of future shacking occurrences. This lecture is divided into two parts. The first concerns pleasing your sorostitute of choice on this once believed to be dreadful day. The second part addresses fratting hard even though you have not designated a sorostitute as of choice.

Part I: Do It the Fratty Way

Planning for February 14^th typically happens long before the day arrives. Step one, and perhaps most importantly, flowers must be sent to your sorostitute’s residence/workplace. Remember, you must give numerous flowers in order to receive one on Valentine’s Day. Ideally, a thoughtful card and possibly a box of chocolates will accompany the flowers. If you are not the romantic type, find someone who is to help you write the card. Make sure that you are honest with your feelings without being overly sappy; if she wanted to date a woman, she could be doing that via a “pillow fight” at the sorority house. Step two, reservations for an upscale dinner must be scheduled. If you follow this one rule of frat, you will succeed in the dinner planning: If it does not have a dress code, you should not go. Sometimes fratdaddies fratcrastinate and wait until the last minute to get reservations at a fine dining establishment, and are therefore turned down. There is no need to panic. In college towns, most of the hostesses at restaurants are college students on college student budgets, which makes them easily bribed. If this doesn’t work, you may frattab in a different way by hiring a chef to prepare a gourmet dinner for the two of you at your residence. Step three, the main gift is the final roadblock between the night desired and the search to find Plan B’s. If you have remotely paid attention, you will know what to buy. If those brain cells were not functioning, perfume can be your saving grace. By following these steps, you can ensure that you will be spooning with something other than a pillow the next morning.

Part II: No Obligations, Just Opportunities

Not having a sorostitute of choice on Valentine’s Day could be the best thing that ever happened to you. The frat account still has not been tapped and no effort was exerted. Instead of planning your normal fratty Thursday night out, take advantage of all the Plans that wished they had a Valentine. Well in advance, identify a single Plan A. Then, read Part I and frategically plan which steps need to be completed to cause Plan A to crave you being her fratdaddy of choice. Chances are that step two and a significantly scaled down step three will be sufficient. Therefore, you have turned a night of possible douchebaggery into a night of extreme frattiness.

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After a tremendous response, the Southern Tide Free Skipjack Polo giveaway is officially at an end. Check your email to see if you’re a winner, and be sure to visit Southern Tide’s website for information on where you can pick up more Skipjack polos.

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