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There are some parts of the fratty lifestyle, and college life in general, which transcend both time and tradition, and are such inexplicably huge fratting opportunities that they must be completely taken advantage of by any self-respecting fratdaddy or sorostitute.  Tonight, there begins an almost 5 month long period that is, effectively, the Holy Months of Fratology.  We speak, of course, of college football season.  However, with great opportunity comes great responsibility.  Any gel-encrusted GDI can grab a student ticket, throw on 7 different kinds of school-colored flage, and go to a game.  You must be better than this.  You must make game weekends the time when you put every fratty principle that you learn through the rest of the year to work.  These are, if you will, the final exams of fratty education.

The Weekend Begins

Reasonable minds can disagree on when the game weekend exactly begins; however, for the purposes of brevity and clarity, we will assume that the game weekend starts on the night of the swap/mixer.  This is the symbolic beginning of a several day period where the frat gland must be pumping fratdrenaline faster than you pump premium gasoline into your V8 Frathoe.  We understand that it may be hard to prep for the weekend when you have troublesome classes grabbing your attention.  All we can say about this is, “Do what you need to do.”

The Date

One of the saddest sights you can see is a brother or a pledge on gameday that doesn’t have a date to the game.  This is almost as bad as seeing one of your pledge brothers in his brand new Hollister Cargo pants and new bleached haircut, riding his Segway across campus while jamming out to Linkin Park on his Ipod.  Yes, it is that vital that you secure a date to the football game.  There are several reasons why the gameday date is so important.  The gameday date provides a conduit between you and other fratty game weekend activities.  First, it provides sorostitute companionship at the Friday night pre-party dinner.  Second, it ensures you of a date at the band party, and also gives you a liaison to that sorostitute’s house to ensure that many of their sisters will choose your house’s band party over others.  The danger to this, of course, occurs when she comes with, and thus will be pressured to leave with, her pledge sisters.  Circumvent this danger by picking her up yourself separately while having a pledge pick up the rest of the girls.  This prevents later problems, and often provides information about the pledge that is given to you by the sorostitutes that he carried.  This date will also carry over to the bars after the band party, and inevitably presents a prime shacking opportunity (note:  your gameday date is your plan A, but the band party should have given you ample time to also scope out and prepare a plan B).  The next morning, your sorostitute will be delighted to know that no breakfast will be required.  Provide her with a pledge to take her back to her house to get ready, and then meet back up with her when it’s time for the pre-game lunch at her sorority house.  Often, you will then meet the sorostitute’s parents; trust us when we say that the handshake between you and her father will grant you a feeling of outright victory. 

Sports Gaming

One popular game weekend activity for fratdaddies across the country is sports gaming.  While FrattingHard.com does not support illegal activity, we are aware that this is a widespread practice among fratdaddies.  You can think of this as another form of frattabbing, albeit with a potential for a return on your investment.  There’s nothing like hitting the Thursday night favorite and the over and instantly having an extra $500 in your frattab fund for the weekend.  It’s also slightly amusing to watch your pledge brother in tears of joy because he breaks even when Brett Favre puts in another spectacular Monday night performance. 

The Friday of Game Week

Although there are many parts of game week that make such time unique, you should not neglect your normal fratty Friday customs, either.  At many frattier schools, there is much emotion riding on every win and loss.  We recommend offsetting this stress with 18 holes on Friday afternoon.  After a round on the links, head back to the Frat Castle to get ready and go pick up your date for dinner.

Dinner

We are big proponents of the Friday night pre-game dinner.  This should be a time when you exhibit the full range of your frattabbing potential.  These dinners should be as big an event as you can possibly make them:  the more fratdaddies and sorostitutes, the better.  If you don’t want to take this to a restaurant, this is also an excellent time to head to the fratio for a game week cookout.  There is little in life that is frattier than a fratio full of sorostitutes, the Friday night WAC vs. Sun Belt game on the big screen, and plenty of frat water to go around.  Keep in mind, however, that this is the beginning of the end for frat water on the weekend.  Some time during dinner should be the point at which you begin the time honored tradition of the consumption of the official fratdaddy football concoction:  bourbon and coke.

The Band Party

After dinner, you will begin your pre-drinking for the band party.  The party itself will rarely get fully cranked up before midnight.  When the band party is at its maximum, however, you should be ready to crank up your fratitude and enjoy this event in a way that the GDI’s down at the coffee shop can’t even begin to understand.  We’re not going to give you a play by play about what you need to do at the band party; we’re confident that if you’re reading this site, you are already that far along in your fratty education.  We will, however, give you the outcomes of a successful band party night.  It involves you, with your Brooks Brothers shirt splashed with bourbon, dancing with your game date (who is in the top 10% of sorostitutes in the room), while the band is playing any number of fratty selections.  After the band party, much like after the swap/mixer, the party should move to the bars and to the inevitable shacking that will occur.

The Morning of Game Day

This should be a simple, relaxing, but again extraordinarily fratty time.  The sorostitute leaves to get ready (as we said above, a pledge taxi is the proper method for her to get back to her house).  Many fratdaddies’ parents are alumni of their school, and thus many return for gameday.  If this is the case, you and your parents will meet up with your sorostitute of choice for lunch at the sorority house.  After this, the parents will most likely go to their own get togethers with their pledge brothers/sisters and you and your sorostitute will move to your tailgating destination.  This may include the Frat Castle, the home of a pledge brother who lives close to the stadium, or an actual tailgate.  Here, there are three important fratty factors:  other football games on in the background, more grilling out, and, of course, much pre-gaming. 

At the Game

Many fratdaddies do not leave the party at the tailgate.  We are continually amazed at the new and innovative ways that industrious fratdaddies and sorostitutes utilize to sneak their libation of choice into the stadium.  However, pace yourself, as there’s nothing fratty about having to be carried out at the end of the first quarter.  There’s also nothing fratty about being the guy that has no idea what’s going on during the game.  At frattier schools, even sorostitutes know about the game of football, and you should not hesitate to get rowdy in your support of the team.  Keep in mind:  if they make it to a bowl, that’s another game week for you to frat hard as described above. 

Post Game

After the game, there are several different courses of action that you could choose.  The first of these is a simple “post game tailgate” that happens much like the tailgate before the game.  Going to the bars is another option; this is especially enjoyable after a big victory.  Some houses will also have a Saturday night band party on big game weekends.  If this is the case, you should go to the band party, and then to the bars. 

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Do not think of Sunday morning as the end of the current game week; think of it as the beginning of the game week to come.  There’s no better way to wrap up the week gone by, however, than by enjoying a nice sorostitute-produced breakfast, followed by a trip to church for whatever confessions you feel you need to make, followed by sitting in front of the big screen for the rest of the day watching the numerous NFL match-ups. 

If you follow this guide, let us warn you:  you may be disturbed to find that you are causing head explosions to mass numbers of GDI’s who were thought to be out of the range of the Atom Bomb of Fratitude that you just dropped on game week.  While they’re still scrubbing off their body paint from gameday, you will already be prepping for another fratty game week…this one even frattier than the last. 

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Sometimes, a fratty good time means just you, a couple of pledge brothers, and some sorostitutes kicking back on the fratio with a cooler and a grill.  Other times, it means 65 freshmen sorostitutes wearing togas with a a liquored up fraternity pledge class waiting on them.  We speak of course, of one of the most commonly held parties in the fratmosphere:  the swap/mixer.

The premise behind this party is simple:  the fraternity, sometimes in conjunction with the sorority, will choose a theme.  The pledge classes from each respective house will dress up according to that theme.  On the night of the party, members of each pledge class are “introduced” to their dates, and the party begins.  Often, these themes need no choosing, but rather are long standing traditions between certain fraternities and sororities. 

Pledges are often at a loss when they try to decide what to wear.  Therefore, we, as caring actives, need to help them along with choosing an effective costume.   In our study of pledges, we have found this fact to be tried and true:  pledges LOVE to be clothed in the most embarrassing costume you can think of.  If they don’t think they can pull off the assigned costume using items from their own closets, send them to the local thrift store, which can often be a valuable source of swap night clothing.   

Traditionally, swaps/mixers occur on weeknights.  During football season, they are a key part of the party schedule leading to gameday.  If the swap/mixer is held on Thursday, it can be a great and relaxing way to kick off the game weekend for those fratdaddies who made sure that they would be free of Friday classes.

The first step to a successful swap/mixer is the effective pre-party.  This is the time when pledges can often interact most with actives in an environment like they will enjoy once they are initiated.  Needless to say, many fratdaddies and sorostitutes find this to be a prime opportunity for the consumption of many fine fratwaters. 

Once the pledges have been paired off, the active fratdaddy’s night presents several key fratting hard opportunities.  For one, sorostitute pledge classes are often much larger than their fraternity equivalents.  At the same time, there is nothing that a freshman sorostitute loves better than an older fratdaddy.  Don’t be afraid to go and talk to a costumed young lady that catches your eye.  This can also be an opportunity to mingle with the actives in the sorority in an environment other than the normal band party or bar.  A normal night’s plan A may be a plan B or C on this evening. 

In the early hours of the morning, when the swap/mixer starts dying down, you should consider taking the party to the bar or to a house.  Even better, think about taking it to a bar, and then back to a house.  You will often come out of the evening with a great gameday date, future shacking opportunity, or wife.  We know numerous post-grad fratdaddies who met their eventual sorostitute of choice at just such a function. 

The swap/mixer is the first cog in the wheel that gets optimum fratitude rolling all the way through the game weekend.  A successful swap/mixer gives your entire house the chance to make every weekend fratmosphere better than the last.  The best thing is that this isn’t a hard thing to do; it’s difficult not to frat hard when you have a house full of freshmen sorostitutes dressed like Catholic schoolgirls.

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The fratdaddy or sorostitute that is hunting for a vacation destination with high fratmospheric levels are looking for a city with several attributes:  luxury accommodations, morally casual laws regarding the intake of libations, and unlimited frattabbing opportunities.  When we were pondering these qualities, the first city that came to mind was one that has long been a popular destination for fratty individuals all across the country:  New Orleans, Louisiana. 

Many southern fraternities have long made New Orleans a prime formal destination, and one reason for this is the numerous luxury hotels that are right in the middle of the French Quarter action.  The discerning fratdaddy is looking for a hotel that will put him and his date up in style while still maintaining the party fratmosphere of the Frat Castle.  There are numerous New Orleans hotels that live up to this billing.  When choosing your Nawlins hotel, there is one virtue that puts some establishments above all others…their balconies that overlook the hallowed French Quarter streets.  We dare you to find a frattier location to establish your fratio away from campus. 

Of course, what truly makes the French Quarter famous is its numerous bars and “gentleman’s clubs”.  Keep in mind, you will be hard pressed to find anything that looks like your campus Greek bar in New Orleans due to the fact that people from all different parts of the country and of all different ages come to enjoy the New Orleans night life.  However, we have seen first hand that a determined group of fratdaddies and sorostitutes can walk into almost any bar on Bourbon Street and blow its fratmosphere out the roof.  At the same time, you don’t really even need a roof:  one of the great things about the New Orleans bars is the ability to get your drinks to go while hopping from spot to spot and enjoying the sites of the street.  From Pat O’s, to the Tropical Isle, to the street vendors selling Big Ass Beers, it’s easy to find a place that will suit your needs for the evening.  In addition, be sure to treat your sorostitute guests with a visit to one of New Orleans’ fine gentlemen’s clubs.  You fratdaddies get a chance to help fund a young lady’s college education by giving her “tuition money”, and the sorostitutes will all feel better about themselves upon leaving. 

Pictured Above:  The Frat House bar on Bourbon St.  No, it’s not fratty, but at least they’re trying. 

If any part of the New Orleans social landscape approaches the fame of its bars, it is the numerous 5 star restaurants that are found throughout the city.  Whether in the French Quarter or in the Garden District, there are numerous quality dining experiences which represent some of our nation’s finest frattabbing opportunities.  There is no better way to start off your evening than by directing your group to Commander’s Palace or Galitoire’s for a meal in one of their private dining rooms.  Once there, you should start the evening frattabbing with a premium selection from the wine list.  While looking at the menu, the culinary options are often so tantalizing that it is hard to make a decision.  When in doubt, we suggest that you order the most expensive thing on the menu.  Why?  Because you can.

While in New Orleans, we recommend that you visit one of your Professors’ favorite producers of quality fratwater:  the Abita brewery in Abita Springs, Louisiana.  Visiting a brewery is a less traditional fratty activity that you will enjoy in addition to the more conventional pursuits you will engage in while in New Orleans.

In closing, when looking for a fratty place for a weekend road trip or while planning a formal, perhaps you should look no further than the fratty destination of New Orleans, Louisiana.  You’ll never have such a great time while giving back to the effort to restore a national disaster area. 

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One of our most requested features since the inception of this site has been a discussion forum. For a long time, we believed that the comment system was enough, but we eventually realized that a forum was necessary to take this site’s fratitude to the next level. Soon, we will disable comments, and all new articles will include a link to the forum where the article can be discussed.

We encourage you all to register and begin posting in the new forum. Please read the forum rules (posted at the top of the forum) before posting.

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With summer winding to a close, many fratdaddies and sorostitutes are taking off for one last weekend trip to the beach before classes commence.  Although beach activities such as bronzing on the beach with a cooler of fratwater will no doubt be on the agenda, these last-minute trips are great opportunities to engage in another fratty activity that combines several different fratitude boosters.  Deep sea fishing can provide sky-high fratmosphere in several ways:  chartered boating, natural bronzing, fratwater consumption, and Jimmy Buffett music on the stereo are all possibilities when you take to the sea to end the lives of some unsuspecting marine life.

While campus GDI’s are rushing to the tanning salon for a fresh orange spray, the fratty deep sea fisherman will be soaking in rays the way the Good Lord intended:  on a boat in the middle of the ocean.  If you haven’t had a chance to perfect your summer bronze past your forearms and lower legs because you’ve lived on the golf course, this is a chance to make sure that you won’t look like a ghost on the first weekend trip to the lake of the school year. 

Of course, there is a way that you can deep sea fish on a budget.  Many deep sea fishing charters will allow you to pay a nominal amount to go out with some random people for a day of fishing.  This should no doubt be avoided if at all possible.  Instead, round up some of your pledge brothers (or sisters) and favored sorostitutes (or fratdaddies) and charter a private vessel for your day on the water.  This will ensure that your trip will register as a Category 5 hurricane of fratitude.  Ladies, even if you don’t want to fish, this is a prime opportunity for you to work on your tan while kicking back on the high seas with an ice cold fratwater. 

Don’t let the trip on the waters be the end of your fratty weekend.  First of all, when you get back to port, clean up at your beach house and go celebrate the day’s catch with a fruitful night of frattabbing.  Also, most better charter companies will gut and clean whatever you caught during the day.  Take advantage of this service, and when you get back to campus you will already have the main ingredient of a great fratio grill out.  If you do this, you won’t even need Corona to change the latitude of the first fratio party of the year. 

In conclusion, before heading back to campus (or for a weekend trip to celebrate missing your first class of the year) don’t hesitate to pick up a pole and reel in some fish from the deep seas.  Think of it as bringing a glimmer of fratitude to their waterlogged lives. 

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Mid-Frat Crisis – Noun: Unexplainable phenomenon where a fratty person eschews fratty ways and begins practicing acts of douchebaggery.

ex.  I knew John was having a mid-frat crisis when he began studying wizardy and missed formal to play World of Warcraft.

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Whether you’re a pledge, an active, or an experienced post-grad fratter, every fratdaddy needs an ample collection of fratty neckties.  During your undergraduate days, they are a key part of your cocktail, formal, and gameday attire.  As a successful businessman, you may need to wear one to the office almost every day.  However, like other parts of fratty attire, there are some do’s and don’ts that must be heeded to ensure that this small strip of fabric accentuates, and does not destroy, your formal fratitude.  We will explore three categories of ties:  classics, regionals, and those to be avoided at all costs.

Classics

Above is pictured selections from Ben Silver (left) and Brooks Brothers (right).  These classic diagonal striped ties are the base of the fratty tie foundation, and have been for time immemorial.  In fact, our records here at the Institute of Fratology (which stretch back well before any of our births) do not even go back far enough to see exactly how long the diagonal striped die has been sported by fratdaddies.  Their conservative design and ample color combinations can match practically any high end suit.  Simply put, as long as you don’t choose such a tie that is bright silver with purple stripes (which you will have no trouble with if you stick to the better traditional fratdaddy clothiers), it’s hard to go wrong with this selection. 

These ties can be worn on almost any occasion, including, but not limited to, gameday, job interviews, to the office, formals, cocktails, weddings, funerals, church, and post-election galas. 

Regionals

These are a more recent addition to the fratty attire landscape, but have quickly found a place on the tie racks of many fratdaddies across the country.  Pictured above are two good examples of selections from regional tie makers:  Southern Proper (out of Atlanta) and Nola Couture (out of New Orleans).  With football season almost upon us, we would be remiss not to mention Southern Proper’s collection of gameday ties featuring conservative prints representing individual college mascots. 

However, gameday is not the only time these ties can be worn.  In fact, these ties are acceptable at any undergrad event or less formal post-grad event.  We would forego wearing these ties to a job interview; however, once you land a place at your job of course, they’re great for pumping up the fratmosphere of your office on a Friday.  They should never force the classics out of your collection, but should help to create a well-rounded necktie arsenal.  Needless to say, regional ties are also a great way of showing the world that you’re proud of where you came from. 

Ties of Terror

Unfortunately, there are many neckties on the market which have absolutely no business in any fratdaddy’s closet.  Take for example, the Jerry Garcia Collection ties pictured below.

Even if you are a huge fan of the Grateful Dead, they belong in your CD player and not around your throat.  You should never wear a tie that looks like someone threw up on it before you even get to a function where someone may possibly throw up on it.  Also forbidden are any “novelty ties”, such as the Tabasco Hot Sauce variety pictured below.

As a fratdaddy, you should constantly tailor your outfit to exude class and confidence.  Wearing the free tie that came packaged with your bottle of hot sauce does neither.  No fratdaddy should look like a walking billboard.  Finally, we present a tie that is a perfect example of two fratty faux pas:  the seasonal tie that also features a freakin’ cartoon character.

Believe us friends, your Professors of Fratology do not post this picture in jest; we’ve actually seen people wear these ties in fratty situations.  Needless to say, we were almost overcome by the black hole of negative fratitude that enveloped the room.  First of all, beyond ties that you get specifically for gameday, seasonal ties are not acceptable.  If you want to get in the Christmas spirit at your Christmas cocktail, send up a toast to St. Nick with your glass of Glenlivet on the rocks.  Leave the tie with a picture of Rudolph at home.  Actually, such a monstrosity should not even be at your home.  As for the cartoon character, if we have to explain this to you, realize that you’re having a mid-frat crisis and go back and study Fratting 101: Lessons 1-13.

We hope this lesson will be of help to you the next time you make a necktie purpose.  This part of the fratdaddy’s attire may seem insignificant to some, but in fact it is a vital part of the overall fratty wardrobe.  Stock up on the do’s, stay away from the don’ts, and your tie rack will become another shining example of your ever-expanding fratitude. 

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While we’ve still got “Worst Rush Mistakes” on our mind, let’s turn our attention to another poor specimen:  the rushee who seems ok, gets a bid, and then proceeds to engage in douchebaggery once pledgship begins.  Of course, there are many ways to try to persuade a pledge to eschew a life of douchebaggery and to embrace the fratitude surrounding him…and such a message must be blunt and direct.  We think that the brothers in the house of the unfortunate pledge below found a good way to get their point across at an early semester swap/mixer.

Swap Costume

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To honor the start of the 89th PGA Championship Tournament this weekend, we decided to pick a golfer as our fratty celebrity for the month of August.  After a very brief deliberation, we decided that there was only one man we could choose…Bobby Jones, Sigma Alpha Epsilon (Georgia Tech).

Robert Tyre “Bobby” Jones, a native of Atlanta, Georgia, attended college at his home school of Georgia Tech.  However, he was a man that realized that a graduate degree can be a key part of post-grad fratting, so he also acquired a degree in English from Harvard.  Still not content with his education, Jones then attended law school at Emory.  He did not obtain his law degree from Emory.  Why?  Because he passed the bar exam after his first year of law school.

Jones never gave up his amateur status, and never played golf full time, as he believed in spreading his intense fratitude around to a number of different pursuits.  In fact, he quit playing tournaments entirely at the age of 28.  However, this was not before he racked up 4 U.S. Open titles along with 3 wins in the British Open.  He retired to focus on his Atlanta law practice, where he continued practicing a level of post-grad fratting that was rarely seen in his era.

Of course, we would be remiss not to mention perhaps the frattiest thing Jones ever did:  designing Augusta National.  This accomplishment alone would place Jones among the elite fratstars of all time.

The next time you’re getting ready to tee off, say a silent thank you to the pillar of fratitude who helped make golf one of the staples of the fratty lifestyle:  Bobby Jones.

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The wise young man & woman enters rush with both hopefulness and fear: hopefulness that their natural, untapped fratitude will help to place them in a top house, and fear that their lack of fratucation thus far will lead them to commit a dreaded rush faux pas. This fear is healthy…it leads to rushees that are mindful of their status as someone that must conduct themselves with the utmost level of fratitude possible for an unmolded mind.

However, some are not so wise: they enter rush with a sense of entitlement and arrogance. From these unfortunate few, many rush mistakes emerge.

In the comments below, tell us the worst rush mistakes that you have observed in your time in the Greek community. The rushee that hits on every brother’s girlfriend? The one that shows up in three puka necklaces and hairgel? The one that goes out with the brothers and orders a Smirnoff Ice? Let us hear it all.

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