Spring break is upon us here in the world of frat. It is a time for abundant shacking and chronic drunktaneousness. Similar to formals, spring break provides an opportunity to frat hard away from the confines of the typically university setting. Most fratdaddies and sorostitutes formulate their spring break plans months in advance. If you have yet to make plans because you are a hungover procrastinator, do not worry. Consult fellow sorostitutes and fratdaddies to establish your spring break plans. The information to follow demonstrates how to come back to campus with a damaged liver, beautiful bronze look, and with enough fratty stories to make a GDI’s head explode.
Where Should I Go?
Spring break is not a time to go home, both literally and figuratively. The typical places to go involve large bodies of water, particularly oceans. The reasoning behind this is numerous and will be further articulated in the “What Should I Do?” section. The easiest place to select is the one in which most of the fratty people at your school will be located. This will provide for many common faces, as well as guarding against the possibility that unfamiliar faces may have an affinity for douchebaggery. Cruises are a fratty spring break alternative and still involve being on a body of water. If enough fratdaddies and sorostitutes will accompany you, cruises can provide the same fratmosphere as a beach. Some fratdaddies and sorostitues desire to spend their spring break on the slopes. While this is fratty, this is spring break, not winter break. Grey skies and full-body clothing do not allow for bronzing and aesthetically pleasing views giving to us by bikinis and two-inch inseams skim trunks. Remember, your plans should involve leaving campus and not “going home.”
Where Should I Stay?
The key here is to take the frat castle with you, meaning find accommodations that will allow you to stay with several of your brothers and sisters. This is best accomplished by renting, or if possible, buying a house. Also, the chances are great that at least one fratdaddy or sorostitute will have rich parents who own a vacation home at your spring break location of choice. The advantages here are numerous: house parties, excluding GDI’s from your house parties, increased shacking opportunities, etc. The biggest advantage to a beach house is the ability to have a group that is as loud and drunktaneous as you want to be without worrying about ending up in the local lock-up. This, along with the sheer spatial advantages (including more privacy for the numerous shacking opportunities) makes the beach house an easy choice. If for some reason you cannot get a house for spring break, find other accommodations, such as a luxury hotel, but by all means do not “go home.”
What Should I Do?
Obviously, alcohol should be in the fratmosphere at all times or else the fratmosphere becomes a douchebagosphere. Don’t be the person to put a hole in the fratmosphere. This means that an alcoholic beverage should be in your hands every second that you are not passed out during spring break – no exceptions. Assuming you are on a beach or on a gigantic ship during the day, you have a great fratty opportunity to bronze. Nobody on campus wants to see some ghoulish-like creature after spring break. There are few things in fratlife that are better than getting drunktaneous, evaluating shacking opportunities, and bronzing at the same time. Other fratty activities are available if you do not fell compelled to purely bronze. These include golf, deep-sea fishing, and sailing. While these activities should not encompass your entire spring break, working one or more into your spring break activities can make for a frattier spring break. Nighttime should involve going out, house parties, or a combination. This is rather self-explanatory and should not deviate much from the way you handle them while at school.
Summary
In sum, leaving campus, going to a fratty location with fratdaddies and sorostitutes, moving the frat castle, and getting drunktaneous will ensure for a fratty spring break. After doing this, everything will fall into frat.
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