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Archive for March, 2007

Frat vs. GDI #6 (Beach Edition)

March 28, 2007 | 13 Comments | Uncategorized

Beach Drink
Frat:  Corona Extra
GDI:  Capri Sun

Lodging
Frat:  Daddy’s beach house
GDI:  Motel 6 on the interstate

Fun With Sand
GDI:  Building sandcastle
Frat:  Kicking over/urinating on remains of GDI’s sandcastle

Dinner Plans
Frat:  Surf and turf at local fine dining establishment
GDI:  All-you-can-eat seafood buffet at local Shoney’s

Late Night Activity
Frat:  Shacking on beach with sorostitute from another college
GDI:  Chatting online all night with “girl” from another college

Popularity: unranked [?]

*** DOUCHE OFF ***

March 26, 2007 | 2 Comments | Uncategorized

IT’S BACK! THE FRATTINGHARD.COM DOUCHE OFF! IT’S A DOUCHETASTROPHE!

Looks like this dude is even making himself sick.

The pinkie ring seals the deal…

For the love of God, don’t let this guy find us…

“Celebrity” douchebag.

Uhm…no comment.


His douchebag potential’s so bright he has to wear shades.

Future Frat Potato?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Posted Without Comment

March 26, 2007 | 9 Comments | Uncategorized

Click on image for a larger view.

douche8.jpg

Popularity: unranked [?]

Fratty Word/Phrase of the Week #18

March 25, 2007 | No Comments | Uncategorized

Frat Water – Noun: Term for beer used by fratdaddies/sorostitutes who have developed such a high tolerance that beer has little impact on their level of sobriety

ie. Break out the Woodford Reserve, that case of frat water didn’t get the job done.

Popularity: unranked [?]

When you think about fratting hard, what activities come to mind?  Going out to bars, parties at the house, shacking…all of these are staples of living the frat life.  However, just like a profession, being an elite fratdaddy or sorostitute requires one to learn to constantly expand one’s horizons.  Many professionals are required to attend “continuing education” programs to make sure that what they first learned about their job is not the end of what they know.  Similarly, you should always be on ready and able to incorporate activities into your fratty repertoire that will enable you to frat at an even higher level.  Up to this point, we have included lessons in Fratting 101 (which are introductory fratting lessons) and Post-Grad Fratting 501 (graduate level studies for those fratdaddies/sorostitutes with college degrees).  Today is the first lesson in the class Fratty Activities 301; you now know a good bit about how to frat, and now it’s time to make fratting hard your major.

The first fratty activity we will explore is one that will benefit you not only in college, but for the rest of your life.  Part of being a fratdaddy/sorostitute is learning how to enjoy the finer things in life.  Although you should never set aside your love of frat water or bourbon and coke, you should also be knowledgeable about those alcoholic beverages that you will be imbibing in situations that are more formal than the average bar crawl or band party.  We are speaking, of course, of the substance that wealthy individuals have been fratting since the start of civilization:  wine. 

How much do you know about wine?  Any sorority pledge can go to the local grocery store, buy a box of Franzia, and take it to a band party to loosen up for a night of acting like a frat potato.  However, this is not indicative of the wine knowledge you will need to truly impress those around you.  When you go to a fine dining establishment, you don’t want to be the guy that embarrasses the table by ordering Yellow Tail with your steak and lobster.  How do you avoid this faux pas?  There’s only one way to make sure this never happens to you:  become a true wine connoisseur. 

The best way to learn about wines is to find a local establishment that offers periodic wine tastings.  These can be found at wine stores, restaurants, country clubs, or other fratty environments.  The benefits of wine tastings are multiple.  First, they will expose you to many different brand names and wine varieties that you simply will not find behind the counter at your local convenience store.  Also, they will be hosted by wine experts that make their knowledge available for your absorption.  Tap these valuable resources to take your wine purchasing ability to the next level; be that fratdaddy that takes frat tabbing to a new level when you order a bottle of 1992 Bordeaux after your friends order their dates the cheapest White Zinfandel on the wine list.  Remember:  you can’t frat tab when you’re ordering the house wine.  Recently, your professors were almost asked to leave a restaurant after their order of a 1996 Chateau de Sales caused the gelheaded waiter to run out of the room to avoid a messy head explosion. 

Keep in mind, cheap wines do have their place in your fratmosphere.  When you’re buying wine in bulk for girls at keg parties and other decidedly informal situations, feel free to get some of the more popular mass produced brands at your local grocery store.  Like so many other parts of frat life, wine is all about knowing what to do in different situations.  Of course, if you are buying wine for a party at your own residence, there is no excuse for not taking this outstanding frat tabbing opportunity to introduce your guests to premium fruits of the vine.

In conclusion, increasing your wine palate will simultaneously increase your fratitude.  Part of being a lifelong fratdaddy is melding a funloving lifestyle with sophistication.  Increasing your wine knowledge is a vital part of this process.      

Popularity: unranked [?]

Fratty Word/Phrase of the Week #17

March 21, 2007 | No Comments | Uncategorized

Shack Pack – Noun: A change of clothes, toothbrush, and other necessary items packed by  sorostitute before she leaves her home to prepare for an overnight stay elsewhere

ie. Ashley prepared a shack pack before she went out containing a ruffly skirt, a toothbrush, and a jar of grape jelly.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Helping Your School Frat Harder

March 15, 2007 | 8 Comments | Uncategorized

We recently received a question from a reader about what to do when you attend a university that does not “traditionally have a strong Greek system”. It is an unfortunate, yet unquestioned, truth that some colleges and universities have Greek houses that are literally riddled with douchebaggery. It is important to note that this does NOT mean that there aren’t fratdaddies and sorostitutes at these places that frat as hard as anyone else; however, the ratio of fratting hard to going home is much closer at these colleges than any of us would wish it to be.

If you are at one of these colleges, the situation is not hopeless. In fact, there are some things that you, an individual fratdaddy or sorostitute, can do to boost the fratitude of your school. Remember these three important rules for increased university fratification:


1) Work from the inside out
2) Lead by example
3) Watch fratmosis at work

Work From the Inside Out and Lead By Example
These two rules are combined because they work very closely together. The most important thing that you can do to try to boost your school’s fratitude is personally fratting as hard as possible at all times. Logic dictates that when you frat hard, you will reap all the benefits that come along with doing so. Will those around you in your own house stand idly by while they watch this? Of course not; they will frat harder as well. Meanwhile, if you see members of your house douching so hard you smell the vinegar (which, unfortunately, does occasionally happen), take it upon yourself to show them the error of their ways. This may be done passively (“Do you want to go to Brooks Brothers and the liquor store?”) or actively (“Please come over here so I can rip that damn choker necklace off your throat.”)

Watch Fratmosis At Work
How will upping the fratitude in your house serve to upgrade the entire Greek system? It won’t be overnight, but eventually your system will improve by a system called fratmosis. Explained simply, when one or more houses are operating at a higher level of fratitude than other houses, the lower houses must either absorb the excess fratitude and frat harder or risk being completely overwhelmed and driven from the competitive fratmosphere. For example, if your house is having shot parties while another is sponsoring a PS3 tournament, where do you think the sorostitutes are going to be? This is what we fratty professors call “frat Darwinism”…the frattiest of the frat will distinguish themselves and survive, while natural selections will leave the unfratty with no home to go home to.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Fratty Celebrity of the Month: March

March 11, 2007 | No Comments | Uncategorized

fratty sims

Congratulations to the FrattingHard.com Fratty Celebrity of the Month for March 2007, Molly Sims.

After several months of fratdaddies occupying the title as Fratty Celebrity of the Month, we felt that it was high time we gave a sorostitute her due. Molly Sims attended Vanderbilt University for two years, where she was initiated into the Delta Delta Delta sorority. After getting in 4 years of fratting in only 24 months, Ms. Sims decided that it was time to move on to post-grad fratting. This proved to be a good decision, as she now graces the pages of illustrious publications such as the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, where her image is a constant friend to GDI’s on lonely nights everywhere.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Spring break is upon us here in the world of frat. It is a time for abundant shacking and chronic drunktaneousness. Similar to formals, spring break provides an opportunity to frat hard away from the confines of the typically university setting. Most fratdaddies and sorostitutes formulate their spring break plans months in advance. If you have yet to make plans because you are a hungover procrastinator, do not worry. Consult fellow sorostitutes and fratdaddies to establish your spring break plans. The information to follow demonstrates how to come back to campus with a damaged liver, beautiful bronze look, and with enough fratty stories to make a GDI’s head explode.

Where Should I Go?
Spring break is not a time to go home, both literally and figuratively. The typical places to go involve large bodies of water, particularly oceans. The reasoning behind this is numerous and will be further articulated in the “What Should I Do?” section. The easiest place to select is the one in which most of the fratty people at your school will be located. This will provide for many common faces, as well as guarding against the possibility that unfamiliar faces may have an affinity for douchebaggery. Cruises are a fratty spring break alternative and still involve being on a body of water. If enough fratdaddies and sorostitutes will accompany you, cruises can provide the same fratmosphere as a beach. Some fratdaddies and sorostitues desire to spend their spring break on the slopes. While this is fratty, this is spring break, not winter break. Grey skies and full-body clothing do not allow for bronzing and aesthetically pleasing views giving to us by bikinis and two-inch inseams skim trunks. Remember, your plans should involve leaving campus and not “going home.”

Where Should I Stay?
The key here is to take the frat castle with you, meaning find accommodations that will allow you to stay with several of your brothers and sisters. This is best accomplished by renting, or if possible, buying a house. Also, the chances are great that at least one fratdaddy or sorostitute will have rich parents who own a vacation home at your spring break location of choice. The advantages here are numerous: house parties, excluding GDI’s from your house parties, increased shacking opportunities, etc. The biggest advantage to a beach house is the ability to have a group that is as loud and drunktaneous as you want to be without worrying about ending up in the local lock-up. This, along with the sheer spatial advantages (including more privacy for the numerous shacking opportunities) makes the beach house an easy choice. If for some reason you cannot get a house for spring break, find other accommodations, such as a luxury hotel, but by all means do not “go home.”

What Should I Do?
Obviously, alcohol should be in the fratmosphere at all times or else the fratmosphere becomes a douchebagosphere. Don’t be the person to put a hole in the fratmosphere. This means that an alcoholic beverage should be in your hands every second that you are not passed out during spring break – no exceptions. Assuming you are on a beach or on a gigantic ship during the day, you have a great fratty opportunity to bronze. Nobody on campus wants to see some ghoulish-like creature after spring break. There are few things in fratlife that are better than getting drunktaneous, evaluating shacking opportunities, and bronzing at the same time. Other fratty activities are available if you do not fell compelled to purely bronze. These include golf, deep-sea fishing, and sailing. While these activities should not encompass your entire spring break, working one or more into your spring break activities can make for a frattier spring break. Nighttime should involve going out, house parties, or a combination. This is rather self-explanatory and should not deviate much from the way you handle them while at school.

Summary
In sum, leaving campus, going to a fratty location with fratdaddies and sorostitutes, moving the frat castle, and getting drunktaneous will ensure for a fratty spring break. After doing this, everything will fall into frat.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Fratty Word/Phrase of the Week #16

March 4, 2007 | 1 Comments | Uncategorized

Predrink – Verb: Preparing to go to a formal gathering by participating in an informal gathering where the primary objective is to get drunktaneous

ex. Tom missed the cocktail because while predrinking he chugged two handles of Knob Creek and passed out on the balcony without his pants on.

Popularity: unranked [?]