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With the coldest months of the year upon us, we are presented every day with an opportunity to frat hard via our chosen winter wardrobe. A key part of any fratdaddy’s/sorostitute’s winter wardrobe is the jacket. But what is the frattiest brand of jacket to wear? Today we will take a look at four popular brands and investigate the pros and cons that each brand presents. We will also mention some winter warmth methods that constitute near-douchebaggery and should be avoided at all costs.

What to wear:

Columbia: Although not quite as popular as some of the other options on this list, these jackets are still a viable alternative in the fratty wardrobe. However, their often lower price tag presents a problem; namely, this makes them less exclusive and therefore more worn in the community at large. However, their classic designs and utilitarian nature usually prevent them from being picked up by douchebags who search for flashier and gaudier styles.

Mountain Hardwear: A more recent entry into this battle, MHW has come on strong as an alternative to the more widely recognized North Face and Patagonia brands. Their prices are near those of North Face, which lets you buy with the confidence of knowing you’ve spent a sufficient amount on your purchase, and our recent studies have shown that these items are virtually unknown to the GDI community.

North Face: The pros of the North Face jacket are obvious. Simply put, it is the staple of the fratty community when it comes to winter wear. In fact, many unfratty people who know little more about fratology have caught on to the fact that North Face is fratty. However, this presents a definite problem, as the product’s popularity has led to many “copycat fratters” who will buy a North Face jacket and mix it with other clothes and behaviors that soil the good name of the brand. It is still acceptable as an option, but be aware that it is no longer the tried and true sign of one fratting hard as it used to be.

Patagonia: With a name that is almost as strong in the fratty community as North Face, this brand has been strengthened by the fact that, despite its popularity, it has not caught on with nonfratty types at the same rate as North Face. With this in mind, you can buy your Patagonia choice with confidence while knowing that your purchase will serve you well as you frat hard in the winter months.

Now, before moving on to what not to wear, we must say a word about putting stickers on your vehicle that contain a logo of any of the above brands (or any clothing brand at all, for that matter). This is a scourge that has, unfortunately, seriously infiltrated fratdom. As we said in Frat v. GDI #3: Vehicle Edition, there are only two stickers that should be on your vehicle: your fraternity letters and your university name OR logo. Simply put, placing clothing brand stickers on your vehicle is a classic example of trying to hard to frat hard. You may think that you are going all out, but in actuality you are just going home. Now, on to what not to wear…

What Not To Wear:

Leather Jackets: We don’t even have to explain this. The only time when a leather jacket is fratty is at a biker swap/mixer or sorority theme party. Otherwise, leave the leather to your brother who depledged and joined a biker gang.

Hooded Sweatshirt: Just as North Face is a staple of the fratty community, hooded sweatshirts are a staple of international douchebaggery. The more pedestrian violation of this hard and fast rule are hooded sweatshirts with your university name or logo. Although this is a lesser offense, it is still forbidden. The greater of this evil is a hooded sweatshirt that comes from “The Evil A’s”…Abercrombie, Aeropostale, and American Eagle. Of course, you don’t have one, because you don’t shop there, right? If you can’t answer that question in all confidence, go to your closet immediately and expunge it of these items that are abhorred by the eyes of the Frat Gods.

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With college basketball season heating up, FrattingHard.com has decided to sponsor the 1st Annual FRAT MADNESS TOURNAMENT! This tournament will pit 33 fratty items or activities against one another to find out which is the frattiest of them all. It will be up to the readers of FrattingHard.com to vote and make one of these the king of the fratty.
Items/Activities were extended bids from one of four regions: Food/Drink, Clothing, Party, and Miscellaneous. A link is provided below to view the complete bracket. Later tonight, we will post the first matchup, a play-in game to see which clothing item gets the pleasure of taking on #1 seeded “Costas and Croakies” in the Clothing Region. Get your minds in gear and ready to vote.

Click Here To View The FRAT MADNESS Bracket

Popularity: unranked [?]

Bronzing (Verb) – the process of acquiring a natural tan while laying out by a lake, ocean, river, or pool and consuming alcoholic beverages.

ex. Hey Jennifer, we should go join those hot fratdaddies bronzing by the pool.

Popularity: unranked [?]

This is the first installment in a series called FRATTING 101: FRATTY WARDROBE. One of the most important parts of being fratty is always dressing fratty. If you dress incorrectly, your chance of fratting as hard as you possibly can will be reduced significantly. In fact, failing to dress frat will, in most average situations, completely bar one from being fratty. Take special care to carefully read and abide by the lessons contained in this series…your fratty future depends on it.

Note: The following lesson applies only to fratdaddies. A corollary lesson for sorostitutes will be the focus of Lesson #2.

Perhaps the most important part of being a fratdaddy is looking like a
fratdaddy. Looking like a fratdaddy is not solely limited to clothing.
Before you learn what to wear, you need to learn how to take care of your body. A wise man once said, “The body is the temple.” For you, your body should be your fraternity house…but unlike your real fraternity house, you should actually take care of it. No pledge can do this for you.

Hair: There is only one acceptable hairstyle in the world of frat, and that
is the fratshag. See FH Dictionary. The following unfratty hairstyles
firmly reflect the GDI statements listed below and should be avoided at all costs:

“I just spent 45 minutes frosting my tips and it looks like I just stuck my finger in a light socket.”

“Yes, I am unemployed and in a Sex Pistols cover band.”

“I may be a registered sex offender, but at least my neck ain’t sunburnt.”

Finally, hair should always be free of any hair care product. The only thing that
should ever be dumped on your head is shampoo or beer/liquor from fratting hard at a social event.

Facial Hair: A fratdaddy can “hit or miss” with facial hair. It has been well established frat law that the five o’clock shadow is the most appropriate look for a fratdaddy. A five o’clock shadow says, “Yes, I own a razor, but after fratting immensely hard last night, I decided to forgo shaving this morning.” Lastly, sorostitutes are extremely attracted to fratdaddies with five o’clock shadows.

Tanning: A fratdaddy needs to be tan, but not too tan. The last guy (other than a GDI) that a sorostitute wants to shack with is a guy who resembles Casper. Tanning should occur naturally by participating in fratty outdoor activities, such as golf, or by laying out and drinking alcohol by a body of water, a process known in the frat world as “bronzing.” Under no circumstances should a fratdaddy ever step foot in a tanning salon or use any type of spray-on tan product. The use of such a product would be absolute disaster for any fratdaddy…you do NOT want to end up looking like our day-glo orange friend below:

Body Piercings: No part of you body should be pierced. Again, no part of your body should be pierced. This should be self explanatory. You are a fratdaddy, not a sorostitute.

Jewelry: This goes along the same lines as body piercing. You want people to stare at your face, not your shiny gold chain. Again, you are a fratdaddy, not a sorostitute.

Body Art: There are no acceptable forms of body art, also known as tattoos.
Tattoos are low-class and a sign of total disrespect for one’s body. No
one cares about that barbed-wire around your arm, that you love The Intimidator, and that you like Chinese symbols. Think, money spent on body piercings, jewelry,
and/or body art could go towards throwing one hell of a fratastic party. Now, a word on a touchy subject…frat tats. Unfortunately, many fratdaddies that otherwise frat hard all day, no lunch breaks, have fallen into the frat tat trap. Most of the time, these tattoos are placed on an area of the body that is not visible in day to day activity. However, this does not negate the fact that tattoos of any kind are simply not fratty. First of all, trying too hard to show your fraternal ties shows weakness in other areas of being a fratdaddy. You should not have to permanently place your letters on your person to show others how hard you frat. Also, frat tats could cause you to inadvertently break the Law of Overlettering, which states that a fratdaddy should display his fraternity name/letters on his person no more than once at a time. Therefore, the final verdict on frat tats is thus: if you already have one, this doesn’t mean that you can’t make up for it by fratting hard in other areas, but if you’re thinking about getting one, don’t do it…it’s simply not the fratty thing to do.

In conclusion, following these simple rules will put you well on your way to looking like a fratdaddy. In no time you will be running the world and shacking with sorostitutes like a fratdaddy should.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Winter Vacation
Fratty: Ski Resort
GDI: Star Trek Convention

Winter Wear
Fratty: Patagonia or North Face fleece
GDI: Abercrombie hooded sweatshirt and abundance of extra hair product

Winter Drink of Choice
Frat: Scotch – on the rocks
GDI: Frutopia – on the rocks

Winter Party
Frat: Fraternity/Sorority Christmas Cocktail/Formal
GDI: Lock-in with friends from high school

Winter Goal
Frat: Shack with numerous hot sorostitutes
GDI: Finish Nintendo Wii custom modifications

Popularity: unranked [?]

They frat too hard to be bothered by such pedestrian conundrums.

Popularity: unranked [?]

We couldn’t agree more.

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Popularity: unranked [?]